Me, On a Diet

I watched the show on the latest diet plan (while snacking on popcorn with a glass of wine). The “new diet” sounds remarkably like all the “old diets” only without the fad-element. Anyway you try to disguise it, it’s still eat right, exercise more. While watching, one of my problems became immediately evident. The diet “creators” (“reworders”? “remarketers”?) said that you had to go through your kitchen and eliminate anything with the “bad things” in the first five ingredients. They applied this method to four people they had selected and went through cabinets and the fridge and removed anything that might shockingly include “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil” or “enriched flour” etc. AND THEN THEY THREW IT AWAY. Or maybe they gave it away, (I’m not sure we’re concerned about the cholesterol counts of our homeless population), but either way, the food left the house. As I poured a second glass of wine, I contemplated this approach. Perhaps this is where I have gone wrong. I’ve always told myself that WHEN the bad food is consumed, I will simply not replace it, so that, in a matter of a few days, I will have rid my home of all bad foods and will be on track to eating “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil-FREE” foods. But that day never comes. When you run out of spaghetti sauce, you still have noodles, so you buy more sauce to use up the noodles, but then you have no noodles and too much sauce. Or you buy salsa to finish up all the chips. But then you run out of chips and you still have salsa.

I could actually be throwing this stuff away?! I had no idea.

All kidding aside, the one woman said something that has actually stuck with me for the last several days. She said, “I used to put food between me and my emotions. Now there is nothing there to serve as a buffer and I’m forced to confront my own feelings.” Wow. I think that’s me. I have always seemed to revel in that sort of “numbness” that comes from eating, the lethargy that takes over after a big meal has been a welcome friend. Those people who say, "Let's go for a walk and burn off some of the dinner!" I thought were crazy. "Let's sit on the couch, turn on the game and fall asleep!" always sounded more inviting to me.

I ordered the book. I ordered the pedometer. I make no promises, but I think I might actually go through my kitchen and box up the non-perishable, “enriched” foods.

If only I could give my negative emotions to the food bank, too. This, is not going to be easy.