Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Dispute

I see this as a fence.
Eli thinks it's just a hurdle.

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Son Went To Chicago and All I Got Was...

Flash: Hello from the Big Honking Rainstorm that may or may not be headed your way! Biiiiig honking storm.

Mom: Nice! Keep it in Illinois, would ya?

Flash: We’re still being clobbered. A tree branch dropped by to say hi, but so far so good.

Mom: Don't feel any need to send it this way. You can keep it in Chicago.

Flash: I thought you might want it so I gift-wrapped it with thunder and a nice lightning show too!

Mom: Oh yeah, nice radar pics. Thanks.

Flash: Just a little something to let you know I was thinking of you. Glad you enjoyed it. Lemme know if there’s anything else you have your eye on.

Mom: That is so sweet of you! You didn’t need to send more damaging winds. Really. Thanks for the lack of Internet and intermittent TV that came with your gift!

Flash: It’s the gift that keeps on giving! Only the best for my loving mother!

My son went to Chicago and all I got was this crappy rainstorm.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy Boys

It's not every day you invite your ex-husband from several states away to spend the night. The boys are off to explore Chicago - a hometown to Flash's dad, J, and so it worked out to just have J stop by here to pick up Flash en route. I won't say it didn't feel a little odd at times, but I'm the one who moved far away and if I can help make it easier (and cheaper) for Flash to spend time with his dad, well, then, I will. A special Father's Day indeed.
Who can deny those smiles? Look out Chi-town, here comes trouble!

My Eighth Grade Graduate

I moved you from an upper-middle class Pennsylvania neighborhood elementary school, to a rough-around-the-edges urban middle school. You've confessed to holding back the truth about your first day of sixth grade for fear I'd never forgive myself. You took on Freshman and Sophomore English as a seventh grader and while we had our weekly struggles, you came out with flying colors. You took on Freshman and Sophmore Alegebra and Junior and Senior English as an eighth grader and passed with all A's. You found a passion for film-making and editing, where your creativity and sense of humor ran free and wild. You made friends that are supportive, encouraging and competitive. You've been First Chair trumpet your whole musical life thus far. You are involved in church youth group and have made good friends there as well. You've survived your first girlfriend without heartache or resentment. You've been accepted to a challenging high school program that will push you in math, science and computers without the reward of weighted grades. You are socially confident, friendly and generous.
I am so very proud of you, Jacob.
May high school be all that you dream it to be and more.

But Who's Counting?

I have 2 days until I start teaching summer school...

...57 days until Flash returns...

...and 78 days until I start teaching third grade.

Which means I have a LOT to do and no one to help me do it.

I Want It Back

I have just lost two hours of my life trying with all my might to post a LANDSCAPE photograph under my header - cause, ya know, I've seen that and I sooo dig it, but no. Can't do it. It is probably the simplest of things but I cannot figure it out. So you'll have to do with my new photo feature on the right, the first photo of which I'm totally not happy with because it's really a much better photo in its LANDSCAPE entirety but Blogger doesn't like that.


Saturday, June 19, 2010

Not The Answer She Had In Mind

Last month, at an inservice meeting for our new literacy curriculum, our instructor asked us what the following words have in common:

illegal irregular immature

My answer? They all describe men I've dated.

What?! That was incorrect? Perhaps so, but it's still true.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Do You Know What Really Stinks?

When you have amazingly great news that you can't share.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

A Typical Errand Run with Flash

Walking to the car in the garage (try to follow in your best English accent):

Flash: "Okay, so this is how it's going to go down. You're going to stay in the car and Sam and I are going in. When we get back out gun it."

Me: "Sam? You're taking Sam? After the last time?"

Flash: "What's wrong with Sam?"

Me: "I don't have time to list all the things wrong with Sam. But after the last time, I thought we agreed, no more Sam."

Flash: "But he's good with a gun!"

Me: "Sam? Good with a gun? That's precisely the problem! Sam isn't good with a gun at all!"

Flash: "I didn't say a real gun. I gave him a pellet gun this time."

Me: "How is a pellet gun going to help us?"

Flash: "Well, Sam doesn't actually have to shoot anybody, he just has to look as though he might."

Me: "Yes, this is exactly what we told Sam to do last time. Have you forgotten about the last time?"

Flash: "Of course I haven't forgotten. Have you forgotten what it was like before we had Sam?"

After getting movies, and returning to our car:

Flash: "Okay, you're right, Sam was a bad idea."

Me: "How many times are we going to have to go through this? I don't want Sam involved. Everytime we use Sam we come out empty handed!"

Flash: "It wasn't Sam's fault this time!"

Me: "Wasn't Sam's fault?! He stood right in the doorway under the video surveillance with his pellet gun and threatened the cashier! How is that NOT Sam's fault?"

Flash: "Okay, he's not exactly perfect, but you have to admit, he's pretty good for a dog."

Me: "Unless there's a squirrel or cat - just like last time."

Flash: "Well, yes, we know this about Sam. But the jobs that don't involve squirrels or cats are surely better with Sam involved."

Me: "Except you just can't predict which jobs might involve a squirrel or cat."

After getting snacks at the grocery store, Flash returns to the car, saying:

Flash: "Go! Hurry! They're on my tail! Like literally, for Sam!"

Me: "But you didn't get what we came for!"

Flash: "Yes I did, it's right here in my hand!"

Me: "I didn't say get Fluff, I said, 'get the STUFF!'"

Flash: "They didn't have stuff, so I got fluff! Besides, it's cheap and we're on a budget!"

Me: "We're not on a budget! We're trying to steal from them! We don't want Fluff! We needed the stuff!"

Flash: "It was either Fluff or jail, fluff or jail, I like Fluff. Besides, you know what Sam's like in jail..."

and so it goes. Each and every time we head to the car lately. I tell you, who has conversations like this with their teen?! (And why oh why do I?!)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

"Hey Mom? I wanna try skydiving!"

"What on earth made you think of that just now, Flash?"

"I thought of it when I jumped off the ledge just now."

"Jumping off the ledge isn't anything like skydiving, Flash."

"The only difference is the time you hit the ground, Mom."

"Point taken, Flash."