1 Day Left (for Good and for Bad)
When LM was a toddler, my dad came to visit bringing a 5-disc cd player for us to use. Before we could even get it hooked up, LM took hold of the audio cables and walked around the house with them, talking on one end as if it was a phone and sometimes using the other end as a writing implement. Some of his favorite toys at that age were unused telephones. His love for electronic gadgets only got worse as he grew older. I have mentioned his loft, full of keyboards and miscellaneous computer cables and cords. I mentioned long ago about his fascination with an old word processor. If you knew his father, you’d understand where these genes originated. There is no doubt that this computer-geeky child is his father’s son.
Despite the stretch marks, photographs and painful memories, there was, for a time however, a question of who was his real mother.
Now, when I think about LM and all the things I miss about him, I realize how much we are alike. We’re both rather serious people when you first meet us. We’re social, sure, but we tend to have a more serious look on our face and it takes more to get us to laugh out loud than some lighter folks. We care about things deeply and for that, our feelings are apt to get hurt a hundred times a day. We’re both stubborn and independent. We don’t yell when we are angry but we tend to sulk quietly about transgressions done to us. We share a sarcastic sense of humor and a desire to infiltrate our conversations with big words we’ve read but might mispronounce. A book is a treasure to both of us and spending time curled up under a blanket together sharing a story is a mutually enjoyable evening.
This week has been one of the hardest I’ve endured in years. We are both trying to be strong but while we know we’re making the right decision for Gabe, it hurts more than we know how to bear. Tomorrow was to be our celebration of being back together, Day 54 that we’ve been waiting on all summer. And while it will be that, it is looking as if it will also be the day that we say goodbye to Gabe. I will be picking up LM on my way across Pennsylvania, giving him a few hours to say goodbye (to have the dog another week while knowing he was going just seemed too excruciating to bear). My sister will meet us in northern Indiana as LM doesn’t at this point want to go to the house where Gabe will live (he can always change his mind). I will take Gabe the rest of the way and meet up with my sister later. We’ll spend the night and perhaps Sunday, too, at my sister’s putting off the inevitable return home to a dog-less house.
We will get through this. It isn’t the end of the world, I know. We are doing the right thing and down the road I am confident we will feel good about the choice we made. We just have to get through it first.
I’m taking a hiatus. A sabbatical if you will, of unknown duration from blogging. My gratitude runs deep for all the thoughts and prayers that all of you have bestowed upon me and my family this summer and through this process. Enjoy the last bit of August. Celebrate the time with the people (and animals) that you love. Hug each other. I’ll be back soon.
Despite the stretch marks, photographs and painful memories, there was, for a time however, a question of who was his real mother.
Now, when I think about LM and all the things I miss about him, I realize how much we are alike. We’re both rather serious people when you first meet us. We’re social, sure, but we tend to have a more serious look on our face and it takes more to get us to laugh out loud than some lighter folks. We care about things deeply and for that, our feelings are apt to get hurt a hundred times a day. We’re both stubborn and independent. We don’t yell when we are angry but we tend to sulk quietly about transgressions done to us. We share a sarcastic sense of humor and a desire to infiltrate our conversations with big words we’ve read but might mispronounce. A book is a treasure to both of us and spending time curled up under a blanket together sharing a story is a mutually enjoyable evening.
This week has been one of the hardest I’ve endured in years. We are both trying to be strong but while we know we’re making the right decision for Gabe, it hurts more than we know how to bear. Tomorrow was to be our celebration of being back together, Day 54 that we’ve been waiting on all summer. And while it will be that, it is looking as if it will also be the day that we say goodbye to Gabe. I will be picking up LM on my way across Pennsylvania, giving him a few hours to say goodbye (to have the dog another week while knowing he was going just seemed too excruciating to bear). My sister will meet us in northern Indiana as LM doesn’t at this point want to go to the house where Gabe will live (he can always change his mind). I will take Gabe the rest of the way and meet up with my sister later. We’ll spend the night and perhaps Sunday, too, at my sister’s putting off the inevitable return home to a dog-less house.
We will get through this. It isn’t the end of the world, I know. We are doing the right thing and down the road I am confident we will feel good about the choice we made. We just have to get through it first.
I’m taking a hiatus. A sabbatical if you will, of unknown duration from blogging. My gratitude runs deep for all the thoughts and prayers that all of you have bestowed upon me and my family this summer and through this process. Enjoy the last bit of August. Celebrate the time with the people (and animals) that you love. Hug each other. I’ll be back soon.
Comments
God bless!