Tuesday
Monday might have been President’s Day and a day off from work, but I think Tuesday didn’t get the memo and decided to play the role of Monday.
It started with an email to my ex just to confirm that he was going to Pittsburgh for Easter with LM. In his response, my ex not only affirmed that they would be going to see the grandparents but mentioned that LM will be getting baptized then as well. He went on to talk about the catechism books that his dad (an ordained minister) will be sending to us, and something else but I admit I stopped reading shortly after the baptism announcement. How can I have 75% custody and be the child’s mother and I don’t know that he’s being baptized over Easter?! J didn’t realize I didn’t know (what form of telepathy he thought we were currently using I’m not certain of) but we agreed to talk later that evening about the whole situation.
Just after lunch the secretary for the office paged me saying the principal for LM’s school was on the phone. If you’re not a parent, let me explain that moment to you. It’s the only moment in your life when you actually wish your child was injured on the playground. Any other reason for the principal to be calling isn’t a good one. And this one wasn’t a good one. Turns out he wasn’t injured at all, but had chosen the wrong reaction to a girl kicking him and ended up in in-school suspension. So, I spoke with the principal and then called J and let him know all about the situation.
Tuesdays are typical a “Dad Day”, so J was planning on picking LM up after school and I wouldn’t see him again until after school today (Wednesday). J is not exactly the best disciplinarian. A simple scolding is about the worst that LM would hear and J wouldn’t raise his voice or even try to convey the seriousness of this situation. I asked if he could stay in the area after he picked up LM and wait for me to get home so we could all talk about it together (presenting a united parental front despite being divorced is important to me). He agreed but didn’t know what they’d do for dinner since they normally eat out and he didn’t want to reward LM with eating out… so somehow I hear myself offering to make dinner for all of us and we’ll just eat and have a family meeting.
My Tuesday nights are usually spent running any errands that I need to run and spending time with the dog and catching up on laundry or whatever needs to get done. Nothing major, but certainly a far cry from sitting down to dinner with my ex husband and my delinquent child!
The result was that we talked through the in-school suspension issue and I think the message was conveyed rationally and yet strongly so that LM might understand. He’s a very intensely smart child and with that comes a very intense personality that his anger sometimes takes control of. I never see it at home, but there’s very little at home to provoke him. He’s an only child and I think that has given him trouble coping with the little nonsenses that elementary kids do to each other. It’s something we have to keep working on.
We talked through the baptism as well and I think we’ve reached an agreement that while we are all THRILLED that LM initiated the idea of wanting to be baptized, this does not mean he has to be baptized in his grandparent’s church in Pittsburgh, but that he can wait until we find a church ‘home’ that we enjoy locally. I did not want to offend the grandparents, they are very good with LM and very generous with their time in regards to him, but their church isn’t our church and the process and ceremony for the baptism aren’t how I would like to have it performed, if that makes any sense.
After the boys left to head to Dad’s for the night, I enjoyed some down time with Gabe. He loves to snuggle with you on the floor and he enjoyed the companionship while he chewed on his bone and I watched some of the Olympic coverage.
The highlights of the night, however, were some comments that my ex made. Upon arriving home, LM is to practice his trumpet, complete one chore (of his choosing) and then do his homework. J and LM hung out at my house after school until I arrived home, so LM set to his usual routine. J commented later on how surprised he was to see LM get out the broom and sweep the kitchen floor, then vacuum up those crumbs and finally Swiffer the whole thing clean. He said all of this while he watched LM help me make dinner by putting together the Caesar salad and dishing it into bowls. He didn’t know that LM was so “helpful”. I just stared at him. The child is 10. I’ve always taught him responsibilities and that he has to contribute to the household as well.
The prize comment, however, came at dinner. We all sat down to eat, choosing from some pork chops or a few little steaks that I had grilled up. LM chose a steak, cut it up and was about to eat when J said, “Wait a minute!! Look at your plate!” LM and I both stopped short and stared, not being able to figure out what in the world was wrong with LM’s plate. J said, “Explain to me exactly why it is that I’m still cutting up your waffles and pancakes if you can cut up your steak just fine!?!” I almost fell off my chair laughing. I replied, “Because LM obviously has you trained well!” (I haven’t cut up my son’s pancakes for probably 6 years now!!)
It was quite a night, I have to say. I’m glad that my ex and I have the sort of relationship where we can come together to talk through any matters concerning LM. I’m also glad that God fills moments of tension and anxiety with humor, if you just pause long enough to see them.
It started with an email to my ex just to confirm that he was going to Pittsburgh for Easter with LM. In his response, my ex not only affirmed that they would be going to see the grandparents but mentioned that LM will be getting baptized then as well. He went on to talk about the catechism books that his dad (an ordained minister) will be sending to us, and something else but I admit I stopped reading shortly after the baptism announcement. How can I have 75% custody and be the child’s mother and I don’t know that he’s being baptized over Easter?! J didn’t realize I didn’t know (what form of telepathy he thought we were currently using I’m not certain of) but we agreed to talk later that evening about the whole situation.
Just after lunch the secretary for the office paged me saying the principal for LM’s school was on the phone. If you’re not a parent, let me explain that moment to you. It’s the only moment in your life when you actually wish your child was injured on the playground. Any other reason for the principal to be calling isn’t a good one. And this one wasn’t a good one. Turns out he wasn’t injured at all, but had chosen the wrong reaction to a girl kicking him and ended up in in-school suspension. So, I spoke with the principal and then called J and let him know all about the situation.
Tuesdays are typical a “Dad Day”, so J was planning on picking LM up after school and I wouldn’t see him again until after school today (Wednesday). J is not exactly the best disciplinarian. A simple scolding is about the worst that LM would hear and J wouldn’t raise his voice or even try to convey the seriousness of this situation. I asked if he could stay in the area after he picked up LM and wait for me to get home so we could all talk about it together (presenting a united parental front despite being divorced is important to me). He agreed but didn’t know what they’d do for dinner since they normally eat out and he didn’t want to reward LM with eating out… so somehow I hear myself offering to make dinner for all of us and we’ll just eat and have a family meeting.
My Tuesday nights are usually spent running any errands that I need to run and spending time with the dog and catching up on laundry or whatever needs to get done. Nothing major, but certainly a far cry from sitting down to dinner with my ex husband and my delinquent child!
The result was that we talked through the in-school suspension issue and I think the message was conveyed rationally and yet strongly so that LM might understand. He’s a very intensely smart child and with that comes a very intense personality that his anger sometimes takes control of. I never see it at home, but there’s very little at home to provoke him. He’s an only child and I think that has given him trouble coping with the little nonsenses that elementary kids do to each other. It’s something we have to keep working on.
We talked through the baptism as well and I think we’ve reached an agreement that while we are all THRILLED that LM initiated the idea of wanting to be baptized, this does not mean he has to be baptized in his grandparent’s church in Pittsburgh, but that he can wait until we find a church ‘home’ that we enjoy locally. I did not want to offend the grandparents, they are very good with LM and very generous with their time in regards to him, but their church isn’t our church and the process and ceremony for the baptism aren’t how I would like to have it performed, if that makes any sense.
After the boys left to head to Dad’s for the night, I enjoyed some down time with Gabe. He loves to snuggle with you on the floor and he enjoyed the companionship while he chewed on his bone and I watched some of the Olympic coverage.
The highlights of the night, however, were some comments that my ex made. Upon arriving home, LM is to practice his trumpet, complete one chore (of his choosing) and then do his homework. J and LM hung out at my house after school until I arrived home, so LM set to his usual routine. J commented later on how surprised he was to see LM get out the broom and sweep the kitchen floor, then vacuum up those crumbs and finally Swiffer the whole thing clean. He said all of this while he watched LM help me make dinner by putting together the Caesar salad and dishing it into bowls. He didn’t know that LM was so “helpful”. I just stared at him. The child is 10. I’ve always taught him responsibilities and that he has to contribute to the household as well.
The prize comment, however, came at dinner. We all sat down to eat, choosing from some pork chops or a few little steaks that I had grilled up. LM chose a steak, cut it up and was about to eat when J said, “Wait a minute!! Look at your plate!” LM and I both stopped short and stared, not being able to figure out what in the world was wrong with LM’s plate. J said, “Explain to me exactly why it is that I’m still cutting up your waffles and pancakes if you can cut up your steak just fine!?!” I almost fell off my chair laughing. I replied, “Because LM obviously has you trained well!” (I haven’t cut up my son’s pancakes for probably 6 years now!!)
It was quite a night, I have to say. I’m glad that my ex and I have the sort of relationship where we can come together to talk through any matters concerning LM. I’m also glad that God fills moments of tension and anxiety with humor, if you just pause long enough to see them.
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