Rednecks Aren't Stupid (Okay, not all)

April 22, 2007 (The date is an important part of a letter. It provides documentation of the specific date the letter was sent giving credence and reference to the contents.)

Dear Fox Sports: (This line is called the 'salutation'. It specifically states to whom the letter is addressed.)

As a loyal NASCAR fan, I am disappointed to inform you that I will no longer be viewing any races broadcast on Fox. (This opening line is critical in stating the purpose and intent of the letter and should be carefully worded so as to spark an interest in the reader). Despite my favorite leader moving up from 17th place to fourth by the mid-way point of the race broadcast from Phoenix last evening, I was finally forced to shut off the broadcast lest my intelligence be further insulted.

It seems to me that Fox Sports is more interested in attracting new viewers to each NASCAR race than providing respectable commentary for those of us who have been fans for longer than a week. In last night's commentary, as with the previouis broadcasts, Lary, Daryl and Mike have felt it necessary to repeatedly explain to viewers exactly what the COT is, how it came about, it's differences and the current concerns. They have also repeatedly explained the "Lucky Dog" pass, a rule that has been in affect for two years. In addition, the commentators have re-explained tire wear, tire pressure, drafting, 'aeropush' and more aspects of the race that are all-too familiar to those of us who have watching NASCAR in the past. (This first paragraph should state the main reason for the correspondence. Providing specific details to elaborate on a given point.)

Having just viewed the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on Fox prior to the race, I did not find one instance during the baseball game where Joe Buck explained what a DH was, why a runner stopped when he reached first base, or what exactly consitutes a 'home run'. It would seem as though the baseball commentators assume their audience knows a little something about the game, and if not, that they have the resources available to them to find out. I only wish this assumption were true during the NASCAR broadcasts. (This paragraph should provide further elaboration, including secondary points and evidence.)

While I am an avid NASCAR fan, and have faithfully watched races for more than five years, I regretfully withdrawal my viewership from Fox Sports. I realize it would be possible to simply mute the Fox commentators and play the radio broadcast alongside the Fox television broadcast, but I do not wish to support the sponsors of the remedial broadcast. (This paragraph should state action items, or the result of the evidence provided in previous paragraphs. It is best to try to make as big of an impact as possible with your words to draw immediate attention and action from the reader.)

If changes are made in the race day commentary, you will have to let me know by mail, as I will not be viewing, nor will my family and friends be viewing as we have since given up hope for any alterations to the intelligence level of the broadcasts. (While the statement about my family and friends may or may not be true, it is of normal practice to finish the letter with a bold, heavy-handed remark meant to make a lasting impact.)

It is my hope that Fox Sports recognizes the intelligence level of their viewers (even rednecks can understand NASCAR rules) and begins to reflect that understanding in their broadcasts. Perhaps finding commentators who have an above-average IQ will assist in finding a remedy to this situation.

Sincerely, (I would normally sign my letters 'Best regards', but in this case, it's all I can do not to say something much worse, so I'll stick to the very banal, 'Sincerely'.)

Eliza Jane
(The signature line is critical. It takes responsibility and credit for the words and issues stated above, giving the letter merit.)

P.S. I hope you found my elementary explanations of letter writing to be as annoying as I found last night's rules explanations to be.

Comments

Sarah Louise said…
ACK! Wow and I was going to suggest the turning the volume up thing too. Very good letter. One thing though--and I hope you don't mind, since you were meticulous about die vs. dice: it's "sincerely yours." Something I learned in college in a resume writing workshop.

Cheers--did you actually send Fox Sports the letter? If so, PLEASE post whatever their response is...
~**Dawn**~ said…
wow. sad day when one can hold up Joe Buck & Tim McCarver as examples of how to announce a sporting event. =P

i am still a little bitter about Junior getting screwed by that caution, but Jeff Gordon somehow not going down a lap. ugh, i do not like that man.
Katrina said…
Excellent letter! (The instructional asides made your point very succinctly, I think.)
Jennifer said…
Hubby & I have a huge distaste for announcers all-together! At just about any sporting event, you could remove them, and miss nothing. In fact, you might get more from said event if they weren't there being such a distraction.

Can I use this and make changes as necessary for each & every network/event?

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