The Test

To ensure they only get truly serious, aware and educated parents for the foster program, the organization I'm working with puts their candidates through a series of torture tests to make sure they will be able to withstand the drama, chaos and mahem expected in a foster placement. The first of my set of torture was to make sure that trying to get to the 5:30 meetings on time would be virtually impossible, no matter how early I leave work. It seems that the entire route there is a drive-with-your-head-up-your-butt zone. My second torture test occurred last week when they showed us slides of abuse photos. I'll admit, that was tough to look at and really tough to conceptualize. While I could clearly see how that mark on the child's back resembled the loop of an electrical cord, I had great difficulty imagining any parent actually INTENTIONALLY doing that to their child. I know, it happens. Obviously. But I had trouble getting my mind (and heart) around it. I am proud to say, however, that even those slides did not deter me and I returned again this week. Another torture test given to me is the mounds of paperwork required for application. Copies of everything from my marriage and divorce decrees to my pets' vaccination records to my driver's license and my homeowner's insurance is required. I also had to fill out more background information than was even required for my government secret clearance (every place I've lived since 1975 and everyone who has ever lived with me since that time.) I'm proud to say, I'm about 95% done with the paperwork.

Today, however, was a new and more serious form of torture. As we progress through the 12 weeks of class, I expect each test to get harder to overcome but this one today was nearly a setback. Today I had to have a physical.

Worse yet...

I had to step on the scale.

Let me just say it wasn't a pretty sight.

I also had to have a TB test and will have to go on Monday for blood work but that all pales in comparison to the fright of stepping on a doctor's office scale. I was proud of my physician, she didn't scream, she didn't pass out, and she didn't call the paramedics (not yet anyway, we'll see how my blood work comes back). You would think she had been through this torture test before.

As I write this this morning, my heart is still palpitating from the shock. I might have to call a therapist later this afternoon (I promise his name won't be Mr. Ben OR Mr. Jerry!) I only hope that whatever they throw me next week is not nearly as torturous as "The Scale". Chinese water torture? BRING.IT.ON.


A more serious side note: I am by no means a "high risk" candidate for HIV/AIDS, but have thought it is a reasonable idea that perhaps I should be tested. While I for one know my own carefulness in this regard, I cannot vouch for the other person(s) involved. Just to be certain and safe, I have thought it wise to get tested. This will be the third time I have asked to have the test performed alongside standard blood work. This is the third time the physician I spoke with has suggested I do not get tested, or that I do not get tested at that facility. The first doctor told me to just go donate blood, saying that was as good of a way as any to find out (yeah, great, and risk contaminating someone accidentally?! Um, NO THANKS!) the second one told me that if I didn't THINK I had HIV/AIDS then don't bother. Today I was given a more reasonable explanation when she suggested I go to an "anonymous clinic" as it can turn up negatively on a life insurance request years down the road if I just asked to be tested without cause for concern. Again, I have absolutely no reason to even think I'm at risk, but it amazes me that in a culture where people can be spreading the virus without even knowing it FOR YEARS, that we don't make this a mandatory test with any blood work performed. I will still get tested, I will find some "anonymous clinic" to have my blood drawn at (that doesn't sound good, does it?) but I think we need to make it easier and more routine for people to be tested. Even those of us trying to make the effort are finding it difficult. What about those who have reason to be worried? (stepping off soap box now...)

Comments

Jennifer said…
The HIV/AIDS test is standard for pregnant women, so I've been tested 3 times. Happily I can report that I am not a virus carrier :) Not that I ever worried about it really - I've only had 1 'partner' during my life - but you just don't know what/who you may have come into contact with. It's scary!

Hope all of the future tests are a piece of cake for you, and don't require you to step onto a scale :) Standing on one in the privacy of my bathroom is torture enough, but doing it in front of someone is absolutely awful!!! I feel your pain, girl.
Anonymous said…
Sounds like they don't make it easy for sure and the scale is cruel! lol

I think it's awesome that you are wanting to foster. It's something my mother did when I was a kid. I enjoyed it a lot (she always had teens so it was nice to have big sisters around).

As for the HIV test, they really do need to make it routine with physicals I think. It really would cut down on transmission rates I would think.
Sarah Louise said…
YAH, with you on the HIV/AIDs tests, they should be standard. Why are we so afraid??
Mig said…
Ahhhh yes, the infamous MIB codes (that would be Medical Information Bureau codes)

~looks over shoulder~

My first job was working for insurance underwriters so I am well aware that your medical history is transcribed into codes (only the bad stuff) and is available for various "things".

Sounds like (aside from the scale) you are doing just fine.

Don't look at it as torture, look at it as twelve steps to a big change in your life.

It's all good.
ramblin' girl said…
I couldn't pass the scale test right now without going into shock. But remember to put it all into perspective... there are far more important things than numbers on a dial.
Thanks for all your kind words, thoughts and prayers lately. They mean a lot.
Katrina said…
Looking at those photos must have been heartbreaking! I'm so proud of you for doing what you feel called to do, though. You're going to be a great foster parent, a real gift to the kids that come to stay with you. :D

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