365 Days

A year ago, we moved.  We had sold our home in 8 short days and moved two very short weeks later.  I had packed up LM and everything we owned and drove halfway across the country to start again.  I moved without a job, without income, without any sense of how I was actually going to make it all work.

And in the past year I found my heart.  I found myself standing in an elementary classroom wondering how on earth I ever left it for ten years.  I found my relationship with my son growing closer, getting better, not buckling under the strain as I feared it might.  We found a church, and this summer, found another.  I started dating again and let myself let go for a short while, letting someone else in for a change.  

It has been a year of faith.  Of believing there is a plan bigger than what I can see.  That there is someone in control who knows more, knows better, knows more completely what I need than I do.  

I cannot say I didn't have my doubts.  I cannot say I didn't lay awake at night and fear.  I had times where the tears wouldn't stop.  Where doubt ruled my mind.  Where hopelessness nearly overtook me while I waited for the next paycheck, waited to sell the house, waited to see if LM's school was the right decision.

But today, a year later, I can say confidently that God knows better than I do.  That He will lead if I will let him.  That He can not only take me to places I've never been, but can fill my heart with joy I've never known. 

As I look back, and then look ahead to a year of teaching in a paraprofessional position, to another year of bonding with my son, to a year of trusting and faith and paying the bills with a fraction of what we used to have, I have confidence.  I have hope.  I have immeasurable joy.

And I have faith.

Let go, let God.  And He will fill you heart with joy and blessing.