Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm Just That Helpful

I walked into the Christian Bookstore this evening looking for the book I need for next months' book study at church, and before I could even gather my thoughts there was a lovely and very cheerful woman asking if she could help me with anything. Thrown off-guard by the immediate assistance, my brain immediately went blank. I stood there for a moment before saying something as remarkably profound as, "I'm looking for a book."

yeah, I know. You in the back? Hush.

The woman was too polite to even give the obvious retort, she just stood there (I'd like to think it wasn't just because I was in the CHRISTIAN bookstore that she refrained from saying "Well DUH!" But ya never know. I kind of deserved it.)

When I started to get my brain a'workin', I said, "It's called, um, Thirty Days to... A.... oh something or another..."

The woman, again, refrained from stating the obvious. She just stood there. I continued my embarrassing stammer.

"Thirty Days to.... it's like, thirty days to....oh, I just wrote this down today...."

The woman, God bless her soul - seriously - suggested we go to the computer and look it up. Because I was so close to having the title, surely it'd be easy. (If you missed the sarcasm there, let me just point it out to you.)

She proceeds to type in "Thirty Days to" in the computer and extract 500+ possible titles. Which, in an effort that's surely meant to be helpful, she then proceeds to start reading to me.

"Thirty Days to an Abundant Life? Thirty Days to a Closer Walk with God? Thirty Days to a Better Marriage?"

I keep shaking my head, trying to get her to stop long enough for me to just THINK.

I start rummaging through my pocketbook, looking for the sticky note that I wrote all this information down on only a few hours ago. But, it would seem, the sticky note is still on my desk at school.

So she continues to read, "Thirty Days to Financial Freedom? Thirty Days to a Well-Behaved Child?" and I continue to repeat, "Thirty Days to....Thirty Days to..."

She finally asks if I know the author.

Yes!! Well...., it's something like Stocker, or Sooker, or maybe Soot? I don't know. But it's a husband and wife and it's like Kevin and Chris. Or Ken and Christine. Or maybe it's Keith and Carla.

I finally ask where in the bookstore these sorts of books would be. Generally speaking. Figuring I'll save us both the agony of reading through this entire list of possible titles. I'll just browse the whole bookstore until sometime next Thursday to see if I can find it on my own and perhaps save her from suggesting that I go straight to hel....

She says it depends. It might be in Business, if it's about finances. I say no, it's not just about finances, although that might be part of it. But it's about, well, it's about living the next thirty days, well, it's something about you know, so that when you die, well,

it's about something like not regretting anything.

AHA!! I say, "that's in the title. Or.... something like that anyway."

She says, very calmly still, which I'm sure was part of her training before she was given the job at the Christian Bookstore, Christian Customer Service 101: How to not curse out a customer even when they are driving you mad.

In any case, we go to the Christian Living section and head for authors whose name stars with S (since that's about as much as I get right) and lo and behold there it is!!

"One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life" by Kerry and Chris Shook.

See?! I was soooo close!!

And to think after all that they still let me use my coupon!

2 comments:

Mig said...

That was HILARIOUS!

Thank you for making me laugh. :-)

Jennifer said...

This sounds so familiar. But, I have the pleasure of being able to blame my lack of cohesive responses on my usually noisy children who I am trying to keep under control and out of the way of passers by. So yes, I know exactly how you felt at that moment ;) And the pressure didn't help anything did it?!?