The Week of Boyfriends

This week, I learned that my former high school boyfriend is a grandfather (in a slightly roundabout way) at 38.

I learned that my last boyfriend from PA is now married with a child.

And I learned that if you give a man enough time to show his true colors and he will do just that.

For those of you married folks who are perhaps thinking that the idea of going out to dinner, having an intruguing conversation that doesn't revolve around your kids or the grocery list sounds like a great perk to being single, let me just suggest that you think again. You might indeed get something good to eat, I'll grant you that. But you will have to deal with your date drinking at least three beers (he was already drinking when you arrived, so it's hard to know the total) and smoking two cigarettes while you eat. You will have to cope with a man dropping the "f" word amongst others making you wonder what he says when he's around people he's not trying to impress (or wonder if he is just not trying to impress you?) When you tell a funny antecdote about the bath you took earlier, he will say, and I quote "What is it with you girls and baths? Is that where you go to touch yourselves? Is it? It is, isn't it?" and delight himself thinking the look of disgust and shock on your face is some indication that he's actually stumbled upon some secret female truth.

On the bright side, it cost me less than $25 to find out this date was not a match for me and I had a delicous meal included in that bundled price, too. The continued efforts of the ex-boyfriend to try to prove in some manner that he is in fact a great catch for me have only worked against him, proving instead my point that we were not a good match from the start (and perhaps a much worse match than I even realized at that time.) I have realized why I never regretted breaking things off with my high school boyfriend and even though it was terribly frustrating at the time that my last boyfriend couldn't commit, I am glad to hear how happy he is and how blessed his life has become.

I didn't go looking for this last date, it sort of found me all on its own. As I type this, my sister is trying to figure out a way to glean critical relationship status off a man she knows and thinks is a great catch for me. I'll admit, my enthusiasm at the prospect is greatly lacking. Not because he's not a great guy (I wouldn't even begin to know) but because this process is so exhausting. Maybe all of this is God's way of reminding me how amazing my life is without anyone having to add to it. I don't know for certain. All I do know is this morning, I am quite happy to be single.

Comments

Katrina said…
Wow, that date story is horrific. I guess, instead of thanking him for a wonderful night, you could thank him for revealing his inner neanderthal so completely. Saves a lot of time! ;)
stacy said…
egads! you should have excused yourself to the ladies room and made a beeline for the door (before the check arrived!)

praying you don't have to endure another date like that again!
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Jennifer said…
Seriously? "Are baths where women go to..." Seriously!?!?! I think if I had been sitting across from him, my drink would have landed in his face :) So glad you at least got a nice meal...if not nice company to go with it! Uuuggghhh!!!

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