Saturday, September 27, 2008

Too Personal

Because I am a sucker and because I took so much grief the last time for "not giving it a fair shot", when I joined the personals this summer, I took the discounted plan that extends my plan for a couple extra months.  I'm not sure what I was thinking, but alas, we all make mistakes.

I thought I would share the latest responses I've been getting to my profile.  While I am ever increasingly skeptical that this medium will warrant an options I wish to pursue, I do, at the very least find the whole thing extremely entertaining.  I give you these emails verbatim (grammar, spelling and all!)

Response #1:

"Amy, I seen in your profile you said that if I'm not yet divorced I'm not your type but I'm almost divorced.  Does that count?  P.S.  When you fell from heaven did it hurt and did you cry?  Let's meet for lunch at Logan's!! - B"

Response #2:

"i think we have a lot in common.  i love to water ski, camp, hike, ride qads, fish and hunt.  (note:  NONE of these things are listed on my profile as things I enjoy, except maybe hiking.)  i like to drink. i like to play cards with the boys.  i lost $400 last week but i usually win.  i think were a great match.  right soon.  - M."

Response #3:

"Amy, I saw your profile and really liked what you said.  I used to work with kids, too.  I worked at a child care center until I taught the kids to do shots with dixie cups.  They were only drinking water, of course, but apparently that's against the rules so I got fired.  Now I'm looking for work but I'm hanging out with my son.  I think it's important to be the best dad I can be.  We go to McDonald's a lot and play and the playplace.  I haven't met any women there, yet.  LOL  I like that you said you go to church every week.  I have never gone but sometimes wonder what it's all about.  Maybe you can show me.  Hope to hear from you soon.  I won't be home tonight, though, I'm going out to watch the game.  I take my son with me and he falls asleep in the booth.  It's so cute!  - D."

Response #4:

"Amy, I apologize for not writing back sooner but I was traveling for work.  I don't always have to travel but since I'm a college recruiter, this time of year is busier than most.  It's usually only regional day trips, but I'm occasionally gone over night.  I'm so bad at these first emails.  I wish I could just skip the small talk and jump into the casual part of a relationship.  But I'll try.  I would rather vacation in Maine than Florida.  I loved my trip to England but wish I had someone there with me.  When I go the next time I plan to visit Ireland and Scotland as well.  I'm a huge baseball fan - Go Cubs!!  I doubt being a Cubs fan impresses anyone, but I could never cheer for a team like the Yankees.  I'm all about the underdog.  Speaking of which, I love dogs but don't have one (because of my travel).  I love kids but don't have any.  I was married for nine years and have been divorced for six.  I still run into my ex wife occasionally as she lives one town away but we're very amicable.  We just weren't the right spouses for each other.  I just bought a house a couple years ago.  It needs some work which I do on the weekends and over the summer.  Someday it will be really beautiful.  Well, I have rambled on long enough and not said anything all that impressive.  I'm not a world traveler, I enjoy being close to home.  I'm not overly wealthy but I pay the bills and have a plan for retirement.  I'm a pretty regular, down-to-earth, easy going guy just looking for the woman God has in mind for me.  If I haven't bored you half to death, feel free to email me back.  I'm usually online on Sundays while the football games are on.  Hope to hear from you soon.  If I'm not what you're looking for, I wish you all the best in your search.  - S."

Okay, so #4 has potential.  I don't hold my breath, though.  I try to keep an open mind and a cautious heart.  I'll keep you posted.


Anonymous said...

Good Luck. I wish the best. TB

Hillary said...

Oh man. Amy. I soooo know those kinds of emails. Just wait till the Egyptians start proposing marriage. Sheesh.

Ah, the online dating world. Good luck! There ARE normal ones out there (or so I've been told! ;) )

Katrina said...

I'm glad you said that about #4. I was reading his email, thinking, "Well, what's wrong with this one?" You just never know. It's hard to read people based on an email, but I'm glad you're keeping an open mind AND a cautious heart. What an adventurer you are! :)

Anonymous said...

#1 - I seen in your . . . ok, pick me up off the floor. . .I cannot stop laughing. I normally would tell you that the "seen" ones can turn out ok - but then I kept reading. . nope, not a chance! I just got lucky! Jules

Anonymous said...

WOW! Just a bit frightening...and these guys are actually trying to impress you??
I agree with Katrina, #4 definitely has the most potential, but #1-3 are not much competition!
:) Chris