Reinventing at the Pottery Wheel
I had Pottery Class tonight. We watched a movie about an artist that made teapots that I thought were hideous. I suppose that’s part of art, isn’t it? I trimmed up some of the pots I made last week and made two new ones. One that I made tonight I wrecked, but it looked kind of cool so I kept it, even though it’s really a “mistake”. That’s art, too, isn’t it?
As I was getting ready for class, though, I was trying to think of what it was that I wanted to make tonight. I’ve made several pots. I’ve made several cylinders. I’ve even made a really ugly mug and a lopsided saucer. I just don’t know enough about what is possible with the abilities that I have.
To continue along the symbolic nature of my pottery posts, it has recently occurred to me that I don’t know what it is that I want to make out of the rest of my life, either. I had imagined that I would be married with several kids at this point and I wouldn’t have to consider my options until all of my kids were in school, but that ol’ curve ball that life threw my way has given me a chance to “redream”. What do I want out of the next five years? The next ten?
I am at as much of a loss to answer that as to what to make out of the mound of clay sitting on the wheel.
I’m not sure how it is that we figure out what is it that we really want to do. I can ask myself all kinds of questions, but I come up with answers that to some degree feel out of my control. I’d like to be married again. I’d love to have more children. But right now, that’s not a door that feels ‘open’. I’m nowhere near close to either of those two options.
Given my current life, what would I like to be different? What would I do for a career if I could choose any? Where would I like to live if I could live anywhere? What sort of hobbies do I wish I had?
My answer to all of the above is: I.Don’t.Know.
I remember when I went to college. I entered the doors with the determination to become an International Business major. Whatever that meant. I took all the typical freshman courses and in my sophomore year, when I took Macro and Micro Econ, Business Stats I and II, Accounting I and II and the like I realized I hated business. I switched to a degree in Elementary Education without a clue of what I really wanted to teach. Luckily, throughout your early courses in the major, you spend time in various classrooms and I spent a spring break at my step-mom’s elementary school going from classroom to classroom until I realized that I hated the really young learn-to-tie-your-shoes classes, and really enjoyed the older, we-understand-metaphors ages. I student taught 6th grade and loved every second of it.
I wish I could do something similar now. Dabble in marketing. Try out photography as a hobby. Visit several states to see where I might like to grow new roots. But how does a person do that with limited money, vacation time and experience?
I.Don’t.Know.
I’ve decided though, that I need to really spend some time in thought. I really need to look inside and get a grasp on the direction that my dreams are leading me. I could waste the next ten years just being a mom and biding my time or I could take life by the horns (thanks, Dodge) and make it what I want it to be.
And, just like class tonight, I might find that when I try to turn my dreams into reality, I might make a huge mistake along the way. If so, I intend to still savor it, laugh, enjoy it and chalk it up to experience. That’s kind of like art, isn’t it?
As I was getting ready for class, though, I was trying to think of what it was that I wanted to make tonight. I’ve made several pots. I’ve made several cylinders. I’ve even made a really ugly mug and a lopsided saucer. I just don’t know enough about what is possible with the abilities that I have.
To continue along the symbolic nature of my pottery posts, it has recently occurred to me that I don’t know what it is that I want to make out of the rest of my life, either. I had imagined that I would be married with several kids at this point and I wouldn’t have to consider my options until all of my kids were in school, but that ol’ curve ball that life threw my way has given me a chance to “redream”. What do I want out of the next five years? The next ten?
I am at as much of a loss to answer that as to what to make out of the mound of clay sitting on the wheel.
I’m not sure how it is that we figure out what is it that we really want to do. I can ask myself all kinds of questions, but I come up with answers that to some degree feel out of my control. I’d like to be married again. I’d love to have more children. But right now, that’s not a door that feels ‘open’. I’m nowhere near close to either of those two options.
Given my current life, what would I like to be different? What would I do for a career if I could choose any? Where would I like to live if I could live anywhere? What sort of hobbies do I wish I had?
My answer to all of the above is: I.Don’t.Know.
I remember when I went to college. I entered the doors with the determination to become an International Business major. Whatever that meant. I took all the typical freshman courses and in my sophomore year, when I took Macro and Micro Econ, Business Stats I and II, Accounting I and II and the like I realized I hated business. I switched to a degree in Elementary Education without a clue of what I really wanted to teach. Luckily, throughout your early courses in the major, you spend time in various classrooms and I spent a spring break at my step-mom’s elementary school going from classroom to classroom until I realized that I hated the really young learn-to-tie-your-shoes classes, and really enjoyed the older, we-understand-metaphors ages. I student taught 6th grade and loved every second of it.
I wish I could do something similar now. Dabble in marketing. Try out photography as a hobby. Visit several states to see where I might like to grow new roots. But how does a person do that with limited money, vacation time and experience?
I.Don’t.Know.
I’ve decided though, that I need to really spend some time in thought. I really need to look inside and get a grasp on the direction that my dreams are leading me. I could waste the next ten years just being a mom and biding my time or I could take life by the horns (thanks, Dodge) and make it what I want it to be.
And, just like class tonight, I might find that when I try to turn my dreams into reality, I might make a huge mistake along the way. If so, I intend to still savor it, laugh, enjoy it and chalk it up to experience. That’s kind of like art, isn’t it?
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