Party Of One
I know the holiday season can be difficult when you’re single. I know. I’ve been single for five years now. Because of our shared custody and with relatives on both sides living at least 6 hours away if not further, we don’t “split” holidays, we just give the holiday entirely to one or the other.
What this translates into is that I spend either Christmas or Thanksgiving alone each year. The first few years I used the time for major projects (catching up on years of scrapbooking or painting my condo, for example) other times I used the time to watch “classic” movies and their sequels that I had never gotten around to before. Godfather was the film choice one year.
But I’ve steadily become so accustomed to spending the time alone that I don’t think twice about it. People around me seem to have more difficulty with the notion than I do. I thought perhaps I could highlight some of the reasons why I enjoy the time so much. Don’t misunderstand me, I would LOVE to have LM for every day and every holiday but if he can’t be here then I’ll try to take advantage and enjoy the time.
Here is Amy’s list of why it’s GREAT to be single for the holidays:
1. It’s 9:30pm and I just got now got out of my jammies, took a bath and put on clean jammies.
2. There was nothing on the television today besides SportsCenter and football. I didn’t have to surrender the remote ONCE.
3. I had three meals today that required absolutely no cooking; I ate them whenever I was hungry and with no consideration to anything else and I ate all three of them in the living room while watching tv.
4. The kitchen table is covered with the necessary supplies for G’s album. I feel no need to clear it off before a meal or before going to bed for the day.
5. I was able to properly ogle a pair of rustic brown leather boots in the Boston Proper catalogue that lace up the front but have a hidden side zipper for those of us with calves that aren’t supermodel thin. The cost of over $200 did deter me from actually buying them, but I was able to ogle them for a little while at least, without any guilt or anyone accusing me of being ridiculous.
6. “Jammies” means a soft, worn in, tattered t-shirt and sweats. I haven’t given a single thought to looking sexy for bed in years. It’s all about comfort and warmth!
7. When football ended earlier this evening, I picked up the latest book from my favorite author and started reading without a single interruption. I’ll finish the book before I’ll close my eyes tonight.
8. I have finished all my Christmas shopping. There was no one here to contradict my choices, to ensure I adhered to a spending policy other than my own or to suggest that I overdid for my family and underdid for theirs.
9. I didn't have to be nice to anyone I didn't feel like being nice to.
10. I didn’t make my bed today. Even better, I put my sheets in the wash and never moved them to the dryer so tonight I’m sleeping on blankets and under blankets. Doesn’t bother me at all, but it’d be a pain in the neck if I had to share.
Maybe it’s just because being selfish feels so indulgent that I treasure these days. I would rather be with my son and with my family, don’t get me wrong, but the distance and the finances don’t allow that to happen each and every time. It’s just times like these when I like to see all the simple joys I’ve gained and not the pieces that are still missing.
What this translates into is that I spend either Christmas or Thanksgiving alone each year. The first few years I used the time for major projects (catching up on years of scrapbooking or painting my condo, for example) other times I used the time to watch “classic” movies and their sequels that I had never gotten around to before. Godfather was the film choice one year.
But I’ve steadily become so accustomed to spending the time alone that I don’t think twice about it. People around me seem to have more difficulty with the notion than I do. I thought perhaps I could highlight some of the reasons why I enjoy the time so much. Don’t misunderstand me, I would LOVE to have LM for every day and every holiday but if he can’t be here then I’ll try to take advantage and enjoy the time.
Here is Amy’s list of why it’s GREAT to be single for the holidays:
1. It’s 9:30pm and I just got now got out of my jammies, took a bath and put on clean jammies.
2. There was nothing on the television today besides SportsCenter and football. I didn’t have to surrender the remote ONCE.
3. I had three meals today that required absolutely no cooking; I ate them whenever I was hungry and with no consideration to anything else and I ate all three of them in the living room while watching tv.
4. The kitchen table is covered with the necessary supplies for G’s album. I feel no need to clear it off before a meal or before going to bed for the day.
5. I was able to properly ogle a pair of rustic brown leather boots in the Boston Proper catalogue that lace up the front but have a hidden side zipper for those of us with calves that aren’t supermodel thin. The cost of over $200 did deter me from actually buying them, but I was able to ogle them for a little while at least, without any guilt or anyone accusing me of being ridiculous.
6. “Jammies” means a soft, worn in, tattered t-shirt and sweats. I haven’t given a single thought to looking sexy for bed in years. It’s all about comfort and warmth!
7. When football ended earlier this evening, I picked up the latest book from my favorite author and started reading without a single interruption. I’ll finish the book before I’ll close my eyes tonight.
8. I have finished all my Christmas shopping. There was no one here to contradict my choices, to ensure I adhered to a spending policy other than my own or to suggest that I overdid for my family and underdid for theirs.
9. I didn't have to be nice to anyone I didn't feel like being nice to.
10. I didn’t make my bed today. Even better, I put my sheets in the wash and never moved them to the dryer so tonight I’m sleeping on blankets and under blankets. Doesn’t bother me at all, but it’d be a pain in the neck if I had to share.
Maybe it’s just because being selfish feels so indulgent that I treasure these days. I would rather be with my son and with my family, don’t get me wrong, but the distance and the finances don’t allow that to happen each and every time. It’s just times like these when I like to see all the simple joys I’ve gained and not the pieces that are still missing.
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