Thursday, October 09, 2008

We Wrote The Book

Tuesday and Thursday nights at CPR and First Aid Training.  What a fun week.

At least the instructors were good (meaning: fast) and we were out in two hours instead of the predicted four.

After completing the First Aid training this evening, however, I had a surprising realization.  I know the materials are published by the American Heart Association, but I'm fairly certain my family wrote the book.

Start on page 24, Choking.  That's G's page.  Just ask him about the time he was choking and no one believed him.  

Or page 30, that's for Jules and her Epi pen.  The one she forgets to carry with her, especially to the orchard which is swarming with bees.

Flip the page and you'll find my dad.  Mr. Heart Attack.  It was a flukey thing, granted, but still, those calls that say, "your dad is in the hospital because he had a heart attack at school" don't make the memory feel like a fluke.

Stay with Dad for a few more pages.  He's the diabetic they are referring to.  

Page 39 is for Mom.  Seizures.  There was nothing the AHA could tell me about those I didn't already know.  

If you've spent any time at all with George, you've covered page 51 - bloody noses.  

I showed page 53 to LM.  It's what to do in case of an amputation.  (You'd have to know that his whole life whenever he's injured, I've always shouted, "Amputation!!  YIPPPEE!!")

I'm covered by page 63, burns.  Note:  when stirring hot applesauce, be careful of splatters!

I'm also the material for page 70 - bites.   When they talk about rabies and mention raccoons, bats and wild dogs, keep in mind a poor innocent kitten can also send you to the ER for the entire rabies series.  

The instructors said I should receive my certificate of completion in a few days.  I don't need one.  After all, if there's a rabid animal on the loose, I'm the one to call.


Hillary said...

re: page 53. Hahahaha!!! Amy, you're a sick woman! ;) I like it!

stacy said...

that's what i love about you, amy, never a dull moment! another day, another trauma! :o)

Anonymous said...

At least we've prepared you for one aspect of your life. . . first aid! Jules