Eliza resolves to:
- start each day by waking up.
- not watch baseball (in the off-season).
- not consume any illegal substances
- not commit any felonies
- remain a non-smoker
- not watch any WWE events on pay-per-view
- refrain from eating road kill
- not become an arsonist, a vegan or Hindu
The mister resolves to:
- not cheer for the Yankees
- hate Ohio State
- not eat quinoa
- end each day by sleeping
- not buy any curtains, throw pillows or bath towels
- retain possession of his Man Card
- not become a referee for water polo, a fashion consultant or a spelling bee judge
- not throw rocks at airplanes
Flash resolves to:
- not get arrested
- drink large quantities of Mt. Dew
- avoid physical exertion including outside chores, team sports and exercise
- listen to music, text friends and play video games daily
- study and do homework only when absolutely necessary and required
- remain skeptical about all plans and intentions initiated by Mom.
- not grow a handlebar mustache
We think these are pretty good goals, don't you?