When you've been counting down the days since something like 83 to go, it seems impossible that we are down to one so soon. For the last time, I kissed WG goodnight at the back door and told him to travel safely home. For the last time I picked up my house, loaded my dishwasher and turned off my lights. For the last time he texted to say he was "at the other house" safely. I have spent my last day in the classroom being called Miss Jane. I have made my last decision without regard to how it impacts two other people. I have transferred money and paid bills from accounts with only one name on it for the last time. I have signed my maiden name for the last time. I will fall asleep tonight in the middle of the bed for the last time (he hopes!).
I am also done attending events alone. I am done being a third at a card table without a fourth. I will not travel on vacation by myself again. I will not be left to make major life decisions without the help of another opinion. I will have someone's hand to hold when the movie gets scary, when we walk with the dog, or when my tears start to roll. I will have someone to make me laugh when I am taking life, or myself, too seriously. I will have someone to be angry for me when I feel unjustly accused or mistreated. I will have someone to congratulate me, celebrate and cheer me on when I triumph.
I will have someone to turn to and say, "Can you believe he...." After leaving a get-together. I will have someone else who can pick up the necessary ingredients to get dinner going when I am running late. I will have a co-conspirator when I plot evil ways to get even with the teenager for his latest prank. I will have someone to whisper my fears to in the dark as we lie in bed.
More importantly than I may have realized the first time around, I will have someone to sit beside me in church. Someone who thinks I am beautiful. Someone who will gladly have Nerf wars with Flash, but will also tell him to put his cell phone away at dinner. I will have a true partner; a friend who knows all my secrets, all my regrets, all my fears and loves me anyway. I will have a problem-solver, a snowblower-operator, an amazing cook, a comedian, (a terrible grammarian).
Tonight, for the last time, I am alone. Tomorrow we wed. For the last time.