Have You Ever Tried...

... so hard to close a door in your life that it seemed to take all your energy and focus? And you knew that the door had to be closed, that wasn't the struggle. It needed to be closed and locked. There was no doubt in your mind, it was just that the actual closing part was far more difficult than you imagined? As if the force from the other side kept pushing it back open, pushing it open to hit you in the face one last time, or to throw daggers one more time?

I finally feel, after months of pushing a door closed, I finally feel tonight as if the weight is lifted from me. As if God has said, "I've got it from here" and He is holding it shut.

I can't promise that there still won't be knocks from the other side, or shouts, or even notes slipped under the door (although I pray for none of the above) but I truly believe as if it's been handed off, handed to the one who can handle it far better than I can.

And I cannot begin to explain the relief.