The Logic

seems to be missing. I spoke with LM last night (you remember LM, right? My boy? The one who left for the summer just slightly taller than my sister and will return a whole foot taller than me? The one who has spent his summer reading books like "The Grapes of Wrath" and "Gulliver's Travels" for his gifted class this fall? LM, the boy who forgets to call his mother for a week and then calls only to find out what razor number we use to buzz cut his hair? Yeah, that one.) I spoke with LM last night. And during the conversation I learned that his dad is currently working 14 hour days and expects to for the remainder of the summer.

So, can someone tell me, WHY ON EARTH IS MY SON THERE?!? Why didn't my ex choose to have his son at the beginning of the summer (when LM was in Pittsburgh with my ex's parents instead?) when he wasn't so busy with work? Why is my son, the son I ache to see, spending his time with my ex's PARTNER instead of with his mother?

There is a logic here I cannot follow. And a note I will definitely make for next year. Maybe it's just because I miss him so terribly much. Maybe it's because I got used to seeing him every single day. But this news, this information, just makes the ache that much worse. Of course, I cannot really say anything. When I moved LM out of state, I agreed the summers and vacations belonged to my ex so that he could spend time with his son.

This just isn't what I had in mind.