I Remember
My 29th birthday. It was the first birthday I spent alone after the divorce. It was, in all honesty, one of the worst birthdays I ever had. LM was not with me, but even in the days surrounding, he had no idea of the occasion and I felt selfish being the one to tell him. A friend came to visit for the day but his mind was elsewhere and I felt the burden of being an obligation.
Since then I've done as little as possible to mark my annual day. It is difficult being a single parent in the situation. You don't want to make a fuss over yourself but you want to teach your children that we celebrate everyone and not just them.
Tomorrow, TB celebrates his 29th birthday for the 11th time. He has expressed his desire to make a deal of it if only to mark a new stage in his life, a new beginning. He is taking the two of us away tomorrow to a place yet undisclosed to spend quiet time together in celebration.
But today is even more important. Today he has the Rentals and it is important to me that they share in the festivities. I spoke with TB about this last evening, throwing out some simple ideas. "We'll make pizza, and the kids and I can bake a cake together."
Last night I wrapped gifts. Mere tokens, really, but items carefully chosen as presents not just from me but from the Rentals, too. And we will make pizzas together (a concept received with a quizzical look from a boy who is used to delivery) and we'll make and decorate a cake (which will be far more fun for me than I suspect as I get the joy of working with the kids) and we will open gifts and sing the song and laugh and love and hug.
Because that is how everyone should celebrate their birthday.
Together.
Since then I've done as little as possible to mark my annual day. It is difficult being a single parent in the situation. You don't want to make a fuss over yourself but you want to teach your children that we celebrate everyone and not just them.
Tomorrow, TB celebrates his 29th birthday for the 11th time. He has expressed his desire to make a deal of it if only to mark a new stage in his life, a new beginning. He is taking the two of us away tomorrow to a place yet undisclosed to spend quiet time together in celebration.
But today is even more important. Today he has the Rentals and it is important to me that they share in the festivities. I spoke with TB about this last evening, throwing out some simple ideas. "We'll make pizza, and the kids and I can bake a cake together."
Last night I wrapped gifts. Mere tokens, really, but items carefully chosen as presents not just from me but from the Rentals, too. And we will make pizzas together (a concept received with a quizzical look from a boy who is used to delivery) and we'll make and decorate a cake (which will be far more fun for me than I suspect as I get the joy of working with the kids) and we will open gifts and sing the song and laugh and love and hug.
Because that is how everyone should celebrate their birthday.
Together.
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