Breaking News

AP (Amy’s Press), Georgia – Yesterday, in what appears to be an individual incident during a round of golf, G (Amy's brother) reportedly fell out of a moving golf cart while trying to retrieve his ball. While no accomplices to the crime have come forward, witnesses attest to the influence of G’s golf, I mean, drinking partner, Jim Beam, and a prankster co-worker. No injuries (other than his pride) were reported and G went on to enjoy a perfectly beautiful walk ruined by a game of golf. Experts remark on the uniqueness of the incident stating, “While it is not uncommon for G to royally embarrass himself while surrounded by witnesses, it is highly unusual for him to do so outside the presence of attractive women.” Pundits have cautioned the family, suggesting that necessary precautions be made for the aforementioned cruise, namely that seat belts be installed on all bar stools in the Disney ESPN sports bar. More embarrassing reports are sure to follow.