Monday, July 06, 2009

It Isn't Even Funny At This Point

Some friends tried to convince me to give online dating another try. They pleaded their case - one of them even pointing out that she married someone she met on eHarmony. I shook my head and said, "no dice". There's just no convincing me to spend one.more.dime on trying to meet someone online.

So they said, "It's "free communication weekend!" Just fill out a profile! You don't have to subscribe until someone wonderful catches your eye!"

Yeah. Or never. I might just subscribe NEVER.

But I relented to filling out a profile. I agreed to do only that which was free and nothing more. If for no other reason than to be able, once again to say, "See? This online dating thing? IT BLOWS CHUNKS. And besides, I'm quite happy being single. 99.9% of the time." So I answered the 40 bazillion questions and I uploaded a photo and I refused to subscribe all twenty times that it tried to convince me to.

And this weekend, the dating service sent me some matches. And I read through them, but I'm not impressed. I didn't not take advantage of all this "free communication" hoopla.

And then today, I get a text message from TB. "eHarmony? Really?" And then in my inbox there it is. eHarmony thinks that TB and I would make a great match and has sent me his information.

I would like to send eHarmony a reply. I would like to delineate for them the 1000+ reasons why TB and I are a terrible match. (And for those of you wondering if we really are a horrible match, I'll just say this, I have refrained from publically documenting the ongoing drama with TB. Trust me, we are NOT even close to being a match.) I didn't send a note to eHarmony. I refrained. For now.

But I'll say this, it just goes to prove my point: people can put whatever they want down on paper. They can appear to be whomever they wish to appear to be. Christian, responsible, mature, independent, funny...but there's nothing quite like reality to remind you that the internet allows us to create very false personas of ourselves.

So you'll pardon me if I continue to be a cynic at this online dating nonsense. If I keep my $60 in my pocket and think of a hundred better ways to spend the money other than hoping that the man God has in mind for me is out there on the computer impressed with all I had to say about myself. Egads. It gives me the willies just to think of it.


Katrina said...

This whole story reminds me of that "If You Like Pina Coladas" song. Eep! What a nightmare!

Don't worry. If God has someone in mind for you, He'll set it up. He's more than capable. ;)

Go spend your $60 on new books!

Mig said...

I'm with Katrina. Sorry TB but your ship has sailed, been blown up, destroyed and sunk. Like ten times over.


stacy said... don't know what to tell you, except that you are incredible. that is why a match for you is so hard to come by!

and katrina. thanks. i have that blasted song stuck in my head now. "...gettin' caught in the rain...." lol. but you are right about buying books!

Jennifer said...

Ok, I laughed, I really did :) Sorry!!

Myra said...

Well I'm just sentimental enough to believe all those eHarmony commercials, girls. THey're just about as good as the Hallmark ones and all the shows on "lifetime." But you ARE all right about one will take big CROCs to fill with a man worth all that our A. is. I'm so glad to read your fun notions. Hey...give eHarmony another go...and stop being so satirical! ;) (I love being in the minority!!!)