How Not To Do It
I suck at it. I suddenly don't know what to say. I forget everything. I'm inarticulate. I'm flummoxed. I'm struck dumb. And stupid. I cannot support my point with any credible evidence or data.
I cannot share the gospel well.
In particular, I have an unsaved friend who weighs heavily on my heart. He knows where I stand spiritually and we've always allowed for the difference. But lately I've been trying to press the situation, to get to the heart of his belief of lack thereof. But I go about it all wrong.
For example, we get into the conversation easily enough. He'll allow me a certain amount of rope and then he'll promptly let me hang myself with it. Tonight I spoke about how I hope that some day he marries. And he readily admitted that he has baggage and stated that he just isn't ready to let go of it yet.
Ah ha! I thought, an opportunity!
And so I spoke about how he doesn't have to bear that baggage, he can hand it over to someone else. And he knew, of course, exactly the WHOM to which I was referring, and said that no, he feels it's his to bear...blah, blah, blah.
And so we got talking about God and specifically to the heart of what it is that he believes or doesn't believe. In a nutshell, he said, "I think I'm a fairly compassionate individual and I would never willingly condemn someone to the hell as it's described, why would a being with infinite compassion condemn nations of people to hell then?"
I, uh, I mean, um....well, it's like this...you see, there's God....well, I mean....
Yeah. Great response, Ames.
And he talks about how it's really a power trip for this God to want everyone to worship him and that the churches are really just brain washing all of us believers...
And I talk about how God created the Garden of Eden to be perfect and for us to be in perfect fellowship with him, but because of the right to free will, (which inherently gives us a choice) we made the wrong choice. And I spoke about how having the ability to choose means there have to be choices, and God is one of the choices.
Blah, blah, gobblygook blah.
I make no sense. I have no argument. I see his point. It actually makes sense. And I have nothing with which to refute it. So I try to get on solid ground. Remember all that education about how to share the gospel. People are not good enough, we must need God's gift of salvation.
And so I ask him about heaven. Well, he doesn't really see heaven like some people do, and frankly, if it's some big party that only a few get invited to, then he'll be damned (literally) if he's going to give in to that power trip just cause the big man himself says it needs to be so.
Yeah, well. Okay. Point taken.
But he doesn't really believe in hell either. I mean, again, loving God? Condemning people for eternity? Doesn't make sense to him.
And now that he mentions it, to me either.
I know, I can hear my Christian critics saying "the devil is trying to keep you from saving this man! He's trying to turn even YOU against God."
But yet, I have such a hard time sometimes. I believe, I do, but I can't really make it make rational sense all the time. To me, the big bang theory is just a little too hokey. But what if I thought it actually made a bit of sense? Then where would my faith be?
I know I can't make this man believe. I know that. I also know that I'm ill-prepared to even try. But when the sound argument comes back at me, I just find myself sitting down and admitting defeat and saying, "You know, I just don't know."
But that doesn't get the boy any closer to God.
It doesn't get me any closer, either.
I fear that I turn more people away from faith than to it. Suggestions? Help? Ideas?
I cannot share the gospel well.
In particular, I have an unsaved friend who weighs heavily on my heart. He knows where I stand spiritually and we've always allowed for the difference. But lately I've been trying to press the situation, to get to the heart of his belief of lack thereof. But I go about it all wrong.
For example, we get into the conversation easily enough. He'll allow me a certain amount of rope and then he'll promptly let me hang myself with it. Tonight I spoke about how I hope that some day he marries. And he readily admitted that he has baggage and stated that he just isn't ready to let go of it yet.
Ah ha! I thought, an opportunity!
And so I spoke about how he doesn't have to bear that baggage, he can hand it over to someone else. And he knew, of course, exactly the WHOM to which I was referring, and said that no, he feels it's his to bear...blah, blah, blah.
And so we got talking about God and specifically to the heart of what it is that he believes or doesn't believe. In a nutshell, he said, "I think I'm a fairly compassionate individual and I would never willingly condemn someone to the hell as it's described, why would a being with infinite compassion condemn nations of people to hell then?"
I, uh, I mean, um....well, it's like this...you see, there's God....well, I mean....
Yeah. Great response, Ames.
And he talks about how it's really a power trip for this God to want everyone to worship him and that the churches are really just brain washing all of us believers...
And I talk about how God created the Garden of Eden to be perfect and for us to be in perfect fellowship with him, but because of the right to free will, (which inherently gives us a choice) we made the wrong choice. And I spoke about how having the ability to choose means there have to be choices, and God is one of the choices.
Blah, blah, gobblygook blah.
I make no sense. I have no argument. I see his point. It actually makes sense. And I have nothing with which to refute it. So I try to get on solid ground. Remember all that education about how to share the gospel. People are not good enough, we must need God's gift of salvation.
And so I ask him about heaven. Well, he doesn't really see heaven like some people do, and frankly, if it's some big party that only a few get invited to, then he'll be damned (literally) if he's going to give in to that power trip just cause the big man himself says it needs to be so.
Yeah, well. Okay. Point taken.
But he doesn't really believe in hell either. I mean, again, loving God? Condemning people for eternity? Doesn't make sense to him.
And now that he mentions it, to me either.
I know, I can hear my Christian critics saying "the devil is trying to keep you from saving this man! He's trying to turn even YOU against God."
But yet, I have such a hard time sometimes. I believe, I do, but I can't really make it make rational sense all the time. To me, the big bang theory is just a little too hokey. But what if I thought it actually made a bit of sense? Then where would my faith be?
I know I can't make this man believe. I know that. I also know that I'm ill-prepared to even try. But when the sound argument comes back at me, I just find myself sitting down and admitting defeat and saying, "You know, I just don't know."
But that doesn't get the boy any closer to God.
It doesn't get me any closer, either.
I fear that I turn more people away from faith than to it. Suggestions? Help? Ideas?
Comments
And doubts? I don't know a single Christian who hasn't had them at one time or another. For me, it's the question of why God even made us if he knew we were going to screw everything up so badly! I still struggle with that sometimes. But I've seen and learned too much not to believe, and the doubts never plague me for very long--they're just a reminder that I'm a finite being serving an infinite God. I'm looking forward to having some things illuminated!
The first time I really stepped out and shared the gospel, I was nearly shaking with nervousness. The conversation went all over the place, to questions I didn't know how to answer. We ended up looking for answers together, and talking to Christians who'd been walking with God far longer than I had. That couple ended up accepting Christ and being baptized. Despite me.
But there are others in my life, more like your friend, who throw up walls against the truth at every turn, who are less open and more hostile to hearing the truth, seizing on any objection and magnifying it until they're simply unable or unwilling to cross it. I wish I had good advice about reaching those people, but sometimes I think the best thing we can do is pray for their hearts to get all mushy and for them to become better soil for the seed.
Anyway, nothing profound here--just wanted you to know that you're not alone. :)
Anyway... when someone makes that same observation to me, about how can God, who is supposed to be compassionate, damn people to hell. I look at it kind of like this: You know how even if you do something wrong, sometimes the police will "give you a deal" if you cooperate? Well, I see God as sort of like the police in that scenario. We know right from wrong, and yes, we mess up, but if we take God's "deal" -- which, of course, is to believe in Him, and accept the sacrifice of His Son -- then we can be set free. He wants us to take the deal. He's offering it to us, but just like the person in the police station, *we* have to accept the deal & do our part to be set free. God can't force us to "take the deal" any more than He can force us to believe, but He does everything He can that we should be saved & go to Heaven.
Amy - don't let the devil tell you that you're making things worse for him because you're not. The Bible says that some will believe and some will turn away, no matter what we say or do. It's just our job to try to impart what we know and believe to those around us, then trust that God will bring someone else into their lives that will water that seed, or make sense of our feeble attempts at explaining things. Don't give up!!! Just trust that no matter how it looks to you, you're making a difference in your friends life by simply sharing, and being a friend. God didn't tell us that sharing our faith would be easy, and sadly, I have to admit that more times than not, I've shied away from sharing with some simply because I've wanted to avoid the hard questions. But, if we don't face the hard questions and question our beliefs at some point, then God cannot enlighten us - if we don't know that we don't know or understand something, then how on earth would we know we need to learn it? Did that make any sense at all???? Anyway, don't give up, girl! Keep sharing and pressing your friend when the opportunity presents itself - you just never know at what point the light might turn on for him/her!!!
Teasing and you...you, stop with that talk. I cannot give you suggestions, help or ideas but I cannot believe that you turn people off of faith/god either. If you had all the answers and could prove each and every one you would probably be the first to do so. Ever.
That's why it's called faith.
And that being said I am firmly in with 'the others' and totally don't mind a good, long discussion about god and faith and my own personal beliefs. But you can't sway someone who doesn't want to be swayed. Plus can one billion buddhists ALL be wrong? ;)
I have met many people in my life who are so filled with faith and are so adept at quoting from the bible, I'm in awe.
Granted I have never seen them go a few rounds with a person who believes in the evolution of man either.
I don't go there, I don't share, I keep quiet but sometimes I wish I have what I've seen other people blessed with.
Not at all helpful huh?
SneakyPeek: That's one of my personal favorites. I like to get people to explain it backwards to me. All the way back through evolution, right to the Big Bang Theory. And of course then I ask: Soooo... Where did that first itty bitty particle of matter come from? Did it just spontaneously come into existence out of nowhere? And then *they* are the ones left without an answer.