I'm Just Sayin'

When you are asked to remove a tick from an elderly woman's bum in the first week of employment at a new management job, don't complain. God has a funny sense of humor and it's not of the funny ha-ha variety.

I was speaking with my boss, R, in our very small, shared office space today when a woman out at the front desk was causing quite a commotion. R asked me if I had met D yet, and I said no, as I tried in vain to figure out which employee she might be that I hadn't met yet. As D waved to R and came around behind the desk to our office to say hello, R said, "D just got breast implants. When she comes into the office, say, "My God! What great tits!" I am certain my jaw hit the floor and my expression must have been priceless. NEVER in my entire life would I utter such words, more or less to a woman I have not even met! "I think I'll pass on that, actually," I muttered in disbelief.

As D rounded the corner into our office she was cupping her breasts and proceeded to play with them, touch them and move them around for the duration of the 25 minute conversation in our office. R asked about the surgery, intimate details were shared. During a discussion of the firmness of the new implants, one of my staff members came in (who apparently knew D well, but I don't think it really mattered) and asked if they were 'softening up.' D immediately squished her breasts around and then asked this co-worker if she wanted to feel. M did. She poked a few times and remarked on their solidity.

After a diversion into D's recent vacation, she eventually went back to talking about her breasts with R egging her on. Eventually, D asked R if she wanted to feel. R laughed and said, 'of course!' and poked and felt around at the implants just as apparently many others had done. It was then that D turned to me and asked if I wanted to feel, too. "It's okay," she said, "Really! Everyone wants to know what they feel like! Go ahead!" I declined. I am certain I looked as shell shocked as anything.

R did make a comment about how they had probably thrown "little Christian Amy" for a loop and just laughed. She and D clearly thought this was hysterical.

I have never felt more uncomfortable in a professional setting. Never. And to think, this is an organization who is supposed to be honoring "Christian principles".

Man, can't all my problems be about ticks?

(And to think, that this morning, I thought I'd be blogging about how someone seems to think the Y is the charitable pet organization as they left us a domesticated rabbit in a cage with food and water this morning, on our basketball courts with a note saying, "Please adopt me".)


15-hour work days aside even ones that include uncomfortable sexual conversations, I go pick up LM on Friday. Nothing in the world can ruin my excitement for that!!