A Day In My Life (blogger won't let me put the title in the actual title spot today)
I was working on correcting the training manual this morning. An ironic task since I am still not fully trained myself. I heard one of the desk staff say something to a patron about going to see a physician. My ears perked up and I listened more closely. I got up from my desk (with thoughts of risk management in my head) and ventured out to see what was going on. Standing at the front desk was an elderly woman in a bathing suit.
"She just wants someone to come look at it."
Quickly deducing that my staff member wasn't about to go look at whatever it was, I said, "How can I help?"
"There's a woman in the locker room who just found a tick and she's a little upset and wants someone to come help," my staff member told me without sympathy or compassion.
"I'll go see what I can do to help," I offered.
The elderly woman informed me as we walked to the locker room that the woman with the tick was a bit concerned and didn't know what to do about it.
As I entered the locker room, I found another elderly woman in a bathing suit (it was aquatics for the arthritic class time) who was bent over staring at the buttocks of another elderly woman who was wearing only a towel, and then just barely even that. I quickly realized, the tick in question, had lodged itself in this woman's arse.
"How can I help?" I politely asked.
"I need this thing OUT!" demanded the tick woman.
"The best option would be for you to make a quick stop at your family physician on your way home from the gym and have a nurse remove it for you," I offered.
"I have a funeral to attend!"
The woman was hysterical. I think, in all her years, she had never had such a close encounter with a tick. In all of mine, I had never had such a close encounter with a naked elderly woman.
The tick woman craned her head around to try to see the tick. "Can you at least draw a circle around it or something so I can see where it is?" To be honest, I have no idea how drawing a circle around the embedded tick was helpful, but with an elderly entourage waiting my every move with critical eyes, I did as was asked and proceeded to draw a circle with my black Bic pen on this woman's arse.
The other woman, the one trying to help then tried to take apart my pen to find a way to pluck the tick out of the buttocks. I suggested that tweezers might really be the right implement, but since we don't stock those as First Aid items, her physician's office was still the best idea. (Don't get me wrong, even if someone had produced tweezers at that very moment, there was NO WAY I was getting any closer to this woman's butt.)
I asked how far away her doctor's office was. Nearby, as it turns out. And she had two hours before the funeral. I suggested she just make a quick stop and ask the nurse or Physician's Assistant if they might help. "I'm certain they are better equipped to handle this issue," I said.
I offered to get a bandaid, and returned to the locker room to help this woman adhere a bandaid over her butt cheek to cover the tic for the time being. She politely introduced herself to me and told me she was a very active member on several gym committees including the upcoming golf tournament. I shook her hand (why not? I've already touched her butt with my pen) and told her I was the newest member of the Member Development team.
In all my years of working for a non-profit, I have never had to stoop so low to get recognition by a power player before.
I was working on correcting the training manual this morning. An ironic task since I am still not fully trained myself. I heard one of the desk staff say something to a patron about going to see a physician. My ears perked up and I listened more closely. I got up from my desk (with thoughts of risk management in my head) and ventured out to see what was going on. Standing at the front desk was an elderly woman in a bathing suit.
"She just wants someone to come look at it."
Quickly deducing that my staff member wasn't about to go look at whatever it was, I said, "How can I help?"
"There's a woman in the locker room who just found a tick and she's a little upset and wants someone to come help," my staff member told me without sympathy or compassion.
"I'll go see what I can do to help," I offered.
The elderly woman informed me as we walked to the locker room that the woman with the tick was a bit concerned and didn't know what to do about it.
As I entered the locker room, I found another elderly woman in a bathing suit (it was aquatics for the arthritic class time) who was bent over staring at the buttocks of another elderly woman who was wearing only a towel, and then just barely even that. I quickly realized, the tick in question, had lodged itself in this woman's arse.
"How can I help?" I politely asked.
"I need this thing OUT!" demanded the tick woman.
"The best option would be for you to make a quick stop at your family physician on your way home from the gym and have a nurse remove it for you," I offered.
"I have a funeral to attend!"
The woman was hysterical. I think, in all her years, she had never had such a close encounter with a tick. In all of mine, I had never had such a close encounter with a naked elderly woman.
The tick woman craned her head around to try to see the tick. "Can you at least draw a circle around it or something so I can see where it is?" To be honest, I have no idea how drawing a circle around the embedded tick was helpful, but with an elderly entourage waiting my every move with critical eyes, I did as was asked and proceeded to draw a circle with my black Bic pen on this woman's arse.
The other woman, the one trying to help then tried to take apart my pen to find a way to pluck the tick out of the buttocks. I suggested that tweezers might really be the right implement, but since we don't stock those as First Aid items, her physician's office was still the best idea. (Don't get me wrong, even if someone had produced tweezers at that very moment, there was NO WAY I was getting any closer to this woman's butt.)
I asked how far away her doctor's office was. Nearby, as it turns out. And she had two hours before the funeral. I suggested she just make a quick stop and ask the nurse or Physician's Assistant if they might help. "I'm certain they are better equipped to handle this issue," I said.
I offered to get a bandaid, and returned to the locker room to help this woman adhere a bandaid over her butt cheek to cover the tic for the time being. She politely introduced herself to me and told me she was a very active member on several gym committees including the upcoming golf tournament. I shook her hand (why not? I've already touched her butt with my pen) and told her I was the newest member of the Member Development team.
In all my years of working for a non-profit, I have never had to stoop so low to get recognition by a power player before.
Comments
Do you work at the YMCA now? I am taking from the hints you do... I have had many friends and family work for this organization (none who have admitted to being butt toucher's, yet) but have mentioned this Sunday rule. The job is all based on the team you work with.
Best -
"Non elderly butt grabbing" p2
It's not a "rule" per se, I'll be the only manager working on Sunday. It was decided upon by my direct supervisor who seems to be taking a stance as much against my church practices as anything.
Nevertheless, it's a job for now. And I've learned the remarkably uncompromising nature of my boss.
I suppose when you reach a certain age, you just do whatever you want...and have no time for being embarrassed!
So do you like the job a little better?