The Aftermath

Last night was just a simple birthday celebration with just the two of us. I made LM's meal of choice (cheeseburgers, corn and baked beans). (Okay, I'll admit, it was his second meal of choice. His first was lasagna, which I am more than happy to make, but I figured I'd wait until my dad and second mom were here next week, but LM doesn't know they are coming, so I had to just suggest that we wait on that one since it's a BIG meal for two people. He was fine with that. No demotions from Mom-of-the-Year yet.) Anywho...

So we ate, and then I ushered my dear birthday boy off to handbell choir (for me). What a wonderful way to spend your birthday evening, huh? I know, but we only have two rehearsals before our next performance, so skipping one wasn't really a good option on my part. I had LM take along the video camera, however, and asked that he record our last song. I had snuck in some new sheet music and while he video'ed, we all played a round of Happy Birthday!! He was quite suprised and was tickled that I had planned all that.

We came home and opened gifts. Star Wars Lego fighter-jet thing from my sister and her family (nice pick, Bear!!) A big, thick composite book of "The Shakespeare Stealer" (excellent suggestion, Stacy!) and a Robo-Reptile (remote controlled dinosaur) that I had picked up while Christmas shopping. LM was thrilled! I had to make a late night run for more batteries (that's what happens when you buy the gift in December - you've used up the batteries that went along with it by May!) We'll have cake and candles and all that on Saturday when his two best buddies come to spend the night.

This morning, however, I had to deal with the aftermath. I had listened to LM tell me excitedly what gifts his dad had given him on Tuesday and I spent much of my evening after LM went to bed researching and mulling over my options. I realize how difficult it must be for a child to live in two homes with such different philosophies on life. I needed to tread carefully, but to make sure that my efforts were not being sabotaged, either. For all my efforts to raise a non-violent, moral, Christian, loving, kind boy (to become a responsible, mature, compassionate man) my ex-husband had bought our eleven year old "Halo" for the X-Box (rated M for Mature) and a full-sized letterman (a swiss army knife of sorts). I spoke with J this morning regarding the game and it turns out he never paid any attention to the rating. He's going to investigate it and decide if it's appropriate or not. I tried to suggest that even games with a T (for Teen) rating were inappropriate for an eleven year old, but I'm not sure that even sunk in. I spoke directly with LM about the knife, explaining it was immediate expulsion from school if he ever took it there (no questions, no retort, no explanations, just expulsion) and that if it even set foot in my home it belonged to me. Period. End of discussion.

I can recognize that these battles are waged within married couples as well, and that many divorced parents cannot reach middle ground without bloodshed, but I still feel weary some days from having to continually fight for LM's right to a normal, healthy childhood.