Clarification
Thanks to all of you who commented on my "364" post a few days ago. After posting, I felt badly for speaking ill of my ex and wanted to make sure I gave credit where credit is due.
My ex and I are very amicable. We have never argued finances. He has always paid his child support on time, in full and without question. When LM had ortho bills, we resolved easily who was to contribute what and we each paid our portion without complaint. My ex has LM two evenings a week and every other weekend. He is as involved as he knows how to be. In all the behind-the-scenes ways, my ex is a good dad.
It's just in the ways that LM sees that I think his dad is lacking. Not calling on holidays, not trying to see him more, or putting off seeing him for things like shopping. When they are together, LM plays computer games and watches tv, he never has friends over, and rarely does anything outside the house (except go out to eat!)
My vent was not meant to shed a bad light on all the good things my ex does. I am so thankful for our amicable relationship. It was simply meant as a vent of my frustration that in the ways the LM spends time with his dad, I think his dad is sending an unintended message and LM is old enough he's starting to pick up on it.
Perhaps, in any case, I should simply have a private conversation with my ex and explain my concerns so that he might see it from LM's perspective. As much as my ex and I might disgree on some very fundamental issues, we are LM's parents together, and to that end, I'd like to think we could still help each other recognize our weaknesses and aim towards improving our parenting together.
Thank you, again, for allowing me to vent with such honesty before, and for letting me clarify and give the full perspective now.
My ex and I are very amicable. We have never argued finances. He has always paid his child support on time, in full and without question. When LM had ortho bills, we resolved easily who was to contribute what and we each paid our portion without complaint. My ex has LM two evenings a week and every other weekend. He is as involved as he knows how to be. In all the behind-the-scenes ways, my ex is a good dad.
It's just in the ways that LM sees that I think his dad is lacking. Not calling on holidays, not trying to see him more, or putting off seeing him for things like shopping. When they are together, LM plays computer games and watches tv, he never has friends over, and rarely does anything outside the house (except go out to eat!)
My vent was not meant to shed a bad light on all the good things my ex does. I am so thankful for our amicable relationship. It was simply meant as a vent of my frustration that in the ways the LM spends time with his dad, I think his dad is sending an unintended message and LM is old enough he's starting to pick up on it.
Perhaps, in any case, I should simply have a private conversation with my ex and explain my concerns so that he might see it from LM's perspective. As much as my ex and I might disgree on some very fundamental issues, we are LM's parents together, and to that end, I'd like to think we could still help each other recognize our weaknesses and aim towards improving our parenting together.
Thank you, again, for allowing me to vent with such honesty before, and for letting me clarify and give the full perspective now.
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