Ettiquette

I work for a company that has about 40 employees. Over the past year, there have been several occasions where someone has brought gifts to the office for only the four women (including me) that work here. Five of my co-workers have brought me back something from their vacation ranging from a postcard and a magnet to earrings, a bracelet or a nice wooden kangaroo (from Australia, of course). I am not the sort of person who normally buys things for other people when I go on vacation (assuming for the moment that I ever DO go on vacation).

What do I do? I'll be on a Disney cruise, for starters, so it's not really an exotic destination, but should I bring something back for the five that have bought something for me? Do I bring something back for everyone (because I don't understand the logic of only buying for the women). Do I just skip it?

HELP!

Comments

Jules said…
I think you are perfectly within your rights to skip it if you want to. However, if you do, don't be disappointed when you stop receiving things in the future, know what I mean? I don't know. Do what feels comfortable. If you feel very close and friendly with your co-workers, it's a nice thing to do. But I don't think you are in any way obligated to get anyone anything. What a tough choice!
Amy said…
I would be perfectly happy NOT receiving gifts from anyone as a) I think it's rude to just give to some people in the office and not all (which is what they've all done) and b) I don't really need the things they are giving me

I just don't want to offend anyone, either.
Anonymous said…
with christmas coming up i would for sure, skip it!

besides you are a single mother. money doesn't grow on trees....
Newlywife said…
It is weird that only the women do this...it is a phenomenon that has happened in varying degrees in every office that I've ever worked it. It's always women who have to go out for the obligatory "birthday lunches" or only the women who pool money to give you a wedding gift/baby gift/promotion gift.

What is the deal there? I have to say, I always envied the men that didn't have to obligate themselves to the birthday lunch...!

I say get magnets or postcards for each of the four people who are part of this weird gift giving circle. No more than $15 total should be spent!
Mig said…
I work with 100% men in my job. I'm the only gal. That in itself has some benefits and sometimes not. I usually get a gift from the boss's wife and the CFO's wife at Christmas.

You shouldn't feel obligated to reciprocate. A gift ... is just that a gift. The giver shouldn't be doing it to expect something in return.

But if you feel you should, you could maybe bring back a box of candy (taffy or micky ear lollies) to share with everyone. That might work.
jenny said…
my first thought was food. Disneyish candies or something like that (nice going, SP - stealing my idea ;) )

but if you'd rather not get gifts, which may create some weird office vibe, you know, come back with nothing.
Poka Bean said…
yeah. i say nothing at all or something wee small like candy. good call, ladies. i hope you have fun on your trip!
Poka Bean said…
p.s. did you like all over but the shoutin'?
Katrina said…
I agree with getting something for everyone to share, like the candy. It's a nice "I was thinking of you" gift that doesn't cost a lot or leave anyone out.

I don't know if there is a rule of etiquette for this situation! I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be just right. :)
Amy said…
You guys are awesome!! I wanted to clarify one point: it isn't only the women who buy gifts for each other, it's some of the men who only buy gifts for the women (and no, not to hit on them). It's just a weird thing.

I will buy some sort of Disney-ish food and bring and put in the kitchen for EVERYONE and that should be perfect!! Thanks, again, you guys (and gals) totally rock!

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