Thanks, Mr. Bell, Thanks A Lot!
So the conversation went something like this…
Rob: “’ello?”
Me: “Hey Bear, is Jules around?”
Rob: “Yeah, I’m in the barn, let me holler for her”
Rob: “JULIE!!! JULIE!! PHONE!!”
Rob: “JULIE! GET THE PHONE!”
Rob: “JULIE! GET THE GODDAMN PHONE!”
Julie: (away from the phone) “What?!”
Rob: “PICK UP THE PHONE! IT’S FOR YOU! IT’S YOUR SISTER!”
Julie: (picking up the phone) “How am I supposed to know it’s for me?!? I heard it ringing and though you wanted me to answer it, but then it stopped ringing!”
Rob: “It stopped ringing because I answered it and I hollered for you because the PHONE IS FOR YOU!”
Julie: “Well GODDAMN IT, how am I going to know that? I can’t hear you from the barn!”
Me: “Um, hello?”
Julie: “Hey. Sorry. Don’t know why he answers the phone if he’s going to be all the way out in the barn.”
Me: “Well, I just called for a second,..”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT, WHAT?!? I CANNOT HEAR YOU! WHAT DO YOU NEED?”
Rob: (says something away from the phone)
Julie: “How am I supposed to know that’s what you wanted? I have no idea where it is RIGHT THIS SECOND. Can it wait until I get off the phone?!?”
Julie: “Sorry.”
Me: “It’s okay, I just wanted to ask…”
Julie: “Hang on a second. He can’t seem to wait until I’m off the phone.”
(All kinds of yelling in the background while they sort out where Julie left the tool she had that Rob now needs.)
Julie: “Ugh, sorry. He’s trying to get that loft broken apart before we head to Andrea’s tonight and he can’t wait for TWO SECONDS until I get off the phone..”
Julie: “WHAT?!?! Emily and Robby if I have to come up there you two are going to be sorry! What is the matter?!?! WHAT?! COME DOWN HERE! She did what? Robby, if you’re going to cry over every little thing that Emily does…. So don’t play with her anymore!”
Julie: “Sorry”
Me: “So, I wanted to know if I could…”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT! EMILY! COULD YOU PLEASE JUST HELP ROBBY WITH HIS SHOES? IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH?? WE’LL GO TO ANDREAS IN A HALF HOUR!”
Me: “Seems like you’ve got a lot going on, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Julie: “No, it’s okay, we’re just trying to get to Andreas so we can all go swimming but Rob had a bee up his butt to suddenly tear apart the loft even though it’s been sitting in the barn since we moved, what is that now, 8 months? Why he has to do this TODAY I’ll never know.”
Me: “So, I called because you mentioned that Bear’s company was matching..”
Julie: “I’m so sorry, can you hang on for a second?”
Me: “Sure.”
Julie: “EMILY GRACE! IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU WE ARE NOT GOING TO ANDREAS! GODDAMN IT JUST HELP YOUR BROTHER. HE JUST WANTS HIS SHOES PUT ON!”
Julie: “Sorry. They can’t seem to get along at all today. They’ve been fighting the whole day and I’m about ready to cancel the whole swimming thing except we haven’t seen Don and Andrea in about 3 months and I know they’d be really disappointed if we didn’t come over tonight, and besides it’ll be nice just to sit and relax. Evan and Abbey always play with Em and Robby so well, so I’m sure we won’t have any trouble once we’re there, we just can’t seem to get out the door.”
Julie: “ROB!!! Are you about ready?! WHAT?! I can’t hear you in here!!”
Rob: (says something away from the phone that I am sure should not be repeated)
Me: “Jules, I just need to know about the donations for Katrina…”
Julie: “Hang on. He needs something again. WHAT ROB?!”
Julie: “Sorry, what did you want to know?”
Me: “If I send my donation for the Red Cross to you…”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT KIDS! THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD IT! NO ONE IS GOING SWIMMING IF THE TWO OF YOU CAN’T EVEN GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! NOW GET YOUR SWIM BAGS, GET ROBBY’S SHOES ON AND COME DOWN HERE!”
Me: “Jules. If-I-send-my-check-for-the-American-Red-Cross-to-you, can-Rob-take-it-to-work-so-his-company-matches-the-donation?”
Julie: “Yeah, I’m sure he can….ROB?!?! SHE WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE SENDS A CHECK CAN YOU TAKE IT TO WORK SO YOUR COMPANY MATCHES HER AMOUNT, TOO? WHAT?!?! HANG ON, I CANNOT HEAR YOU. GODDAMN IT! Why does he think I can hear him all the way in the house? OH! He has to have it by Friday. Just tell me how much you’re sending and we’ll take it to work and then we’ll just deposit your check when it arrives.”
Me: “Great. Will do. Have fun at Andrea’s.”
Julie: “IF we ever get there! Hey, listen, I gotta go, the kids still don’t have their stuff together…EMILY!!! ROBBY!!!”
Me: “No problem” Click.
I have GOT to get that girl back on email.
Rob: “’ello?”
Me: “Hey Bear, is Jules around?”
Rob: “Yeah, I’m in the barn, let me holler for her”
Rob: “JULIE!!! JULIE!! PHONE!!”
Rob: “JULIE! GET THE PHONE!”
Rob: “JULIE! GET THE GODDAMN PHONE!”
Julie: (away from the phone) “What?!”
Rob: “PICK UP THE PHONE! IT’S FOR YOU! IT’S YOUR SISTER!”
Julie: (picking up the phone) “How am I supposed to know it’s for me?!? I heard it ringing and though you wanted me to answer it, but then it stopped ringing!”
Rob: “It stopped ringing because I answered it and I hollered for you because the PHONE IS FOR YOU!”
Julie: “Well GODDAMN IT, how am I going to know that? I can’t hear you from the barn!”
Me: “Um, hello?”
Julie: “Hey. Sorry. Don’t know why he answers the phone if he’s going to be all the way out in the barn.”
Me: “Well, I just called for a second,..”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT, WHAT?!? I CANNOT HEAR YOU! WHAT DO YOU NEED?”
Rob: (says something away from the phone)
Julie: “How am I supposed to know that’s what you wanted? I have no idea where it is RIGHT THIS SECOND. Can it wait until I get off the phone?!?”
Julie: “Sorry.”
Me: “It’s okay, I just wanted to ask…”
Julie: “Hang on a second. He can’t seem to wait until I’m off the phone.”
(All kinds of yelling in the background while they sort out where Julie left the tool she had that Rob now needs.)
Julie: “Ugh, sorry. He’s trying to get that loft broken apart before we head to Andrea’s tonight and he can’t wait for TWO SECONDS until I get off the phone..”
Julie: “WHAT?!?! Emily and Robby if I have to come up there you two are going to be sorry! What is the matter?!?! WHAT?! COME DOWN HERE! She did what? Robby, if you’re going to cry over every little thing that Emily does…. So don’t play with her anymore!”
Julie: “Sorry”
Me: “So, I wanted to know if I could…”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT! EMILY! COULD YOU PLEASE JUST HELP ROBBY WITH HIS SHOES? IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH?? WE’LL GO TO ANDREAS IN A HALF HOUR!”
Me: “Seems like you’ve got a lot going on, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Julie: “No, it’s okay, we’re just trying to get to Andreas so we can all go swimming but Rob had a bee up his butt to suddenly tear apart the loft even though it’s been sitting in the barn since we moved, what is that now, 8 months? Why he has to do this TODAY I’ll never know.”
Me: “So, I called because you mentioned that Bear’s company was matching..”
Julie: “I’m so sorry, can you hang on for a second?”
Me: “Sure.”
Julie: “EMILY GRACE! IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU WE ARE NOT GOING TO ANDREAS! GODDAMN IT JUST HELP YOUR BROTHER. HE JUST WANTS HIS SHOES PUT ON!”
Julie: “Sorry. They can’t seem to get along at all today. They’ve been fighting the whole day and I’m about ready to cancel the whole swimming thing except we haven’t seen Don and Andrea in about 3 months and I know they’d be really disappointed if we didn’t come over tonight, and besides it’ll be nice just to sit and relax. Evan and Abbey always play with Em and Robby so well, so I’m sure we won’t have any trouble once we’re there, we just can’t seem to get out the door.”
Julie: “ROB!!! Are you about ready?! WHAT?! I can’t hear you in here!!”
Rob: (says something away from the phone that I am sure should not be repeated)
Me: “Jules, I just need to know about the donations for Katrina…”
Julie: “Hang on. He needs something again. WHAT ROB?!”
Julie: “Sorry, what did you want to know?”
Me: “If I send my donation for the Red Cross to you…”
Julie: “GODDAMN IT KIDS! THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD IT! NO ONE IS GOING SWIMMING IF THE TWO OF YOU CAN’T EVEN GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! NOW GET YOUR SWIM BAGS, GET ROBBY’S SHOES ON AND COME DOWN HERE!”
Me: “Jules. If-I-send-my-check-for-the-American-Red-Cross-to-you, can-Rob-take-it-to-work-so-his-company-matches-the-donation?”
Julie: “Yeah, I’m sure he can….ROB?!?! SHE WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE SENDS A CHECK CAN YOU TAKE IT TO WORK SO YOUR COMPANY MATCHES HER AMOUNT, TOO? WHAT?!?! HANG ON, I CANNOT HEAR YOU. GODDAMN IT! Why does he think I can hear him all the way in the house? OH! He has to have it by Friday. Just tell me how much you’re sending and we’ll take it to work and then we’ll just deposit your check when it arrives.”
Me: “Great. Will do. Have fun at Andrea’s.”
Julie: “IF we ever get there! Hey, listen, I gotta go, the kids still don’t have their stuff together…EMILY!!! ROBBY!!!”
Me: “No problem” Click.
I have GOT to get that girl back on email.
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