Saturday, May 14, 2016

Breaking Protocols

The Mister was pretty giddy to be on vacation.  He didn't originally have this week scheduled to be off, so it was even better knowing that he'd be off again for a week in early May!  The minute we headed south for Spring Break, the craziness broke out!

First, we stopped at Arby's for a bite to eat.  I hear my husband order a Reuben sandwich, but I didn't actually believe that's what he meant to say, afterall, we're in the car and he's driving...

...but a Reuben was exactly what he ordered and got.  He didn't think anything of it.  When I mentioned that this violated all kinds of traveling in the car protocols and expressed my concern for his shirt, (I was raised by Roger, afterall) he simply said, "This is my traveling shirt." oooohh, your traveling shirt....I guess it's okay to eat the messiest sandwich created by a fast food joint while driving if you are wearing a traveling shirt!

The craziness got worse, however, just a few miles down the road.  We pass the casino exit every time we head south, or take Jacob to or from school.  The Mister always shouts, "We should hit the casino!  We'll put $20 in and let it ride!"  Of course, we never do.  Until today, when suddenly, The Mister is pulling off at the exit.  I said, "What are we doing?!?"  

He said, "We're on vacation!  We're going to put $20 in and let it ride!"  I could not believe he was actually going to stop at the casino (violation of traveling protocol #2: unplanned stops, especially those that involve the "stupid tax" aka casinos).  But, we did indeed stop at the casino (where I should note, The Mister was actually going to CHANGE HIS SHIRT before we went inside.  As though we need to be presentable to enter a casino at 11 o'clock on a Friday morning. 

It was my first time in a casino, so The Mister showed me the ropes.  He put money in the slot machine and kept hitting this button and hitting this button and I thought he was doing great (he was up $11 at one point) but then he informed me that he had put in a TWENTY.  A TWENTY!?!?!  What?!?!  (violation #3: impulse spending).  We'd been on the road 20 minutes and he was already violating traveling protocols with abandon!  

Just to say I did, I put $$ in the slots and tried my hand (I only put in $3).  We lost.  But The Mister got a complimentary coffee and I used the restroom so we figured that made up for something.  Maybe...?

The rest of the trip was as crazy as it started.  We whimsically decided to take a scenic drive through Lexington, Kentucky that didn't seem to exist.  We asked a dude in a parking lot and he said he'd lived there for 25 years and never heard of it.  So, we got a hotel room, got a dinner and crashed.  (We actually found the route on the return trip.  Wanted to find that guy and tell him about this amazing drive he's been missing out on, but I guess he'll just have to go on not knowing about it.)

After our visit at Garrett's, we drove through Gatlinburg, Tennessee and decided to stop, shop, eat and sample whiskey (What?!?! You're not supposed to do that at 10am on a Monday?!)   While we were there, The Mister met Paula Dean and fought a grizzly bear.  In addition to sampling Smokey Mountain Whiskey, we also tried some wine.  The whiskey tasted a lot like...kerosene, but the wine was delish!

Finally, before heading on to Dad's, we stopped and had lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.  We had a wonderful day in Gatlinburg!

Vacationing with The Mister is always a crazy fun adventure!!

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