The Deal

We were at the garden center when the conversation came up. "EJ? How much do you love me?"

"You know I love you, WG."

"Yes, but how much?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you love me enough to plant asparagus?"

"WG, of course I love you enough to plant asparagus! That's a silly question."

"But if you plant asparagus now, EJ, it won't be ready for two more years."

"Oh. That's quite a commitment, WG. Two years? That's like a cell phone contract."

"I know. That's why I'm asking. Do you love me that much?"

"Put it in the cart, WG. I will plant asparagus for you."

Today I am off to meet his mother. I met his brother, sister-in-law and sister the other night and have so far passed that test, but today is the mother of all tests (literally). I ironed my skirt last night. I showered and rollered my hair. I put zucchini bread in the oven to take along. I was sitting on my deck this morning, rehearsing all the right answers in my head, practicing my sweet, innocent look when I saw it. I rushed over and did a Hallelujah dance right there in the yard.

I guess if things don't work out today, I can cut my losses and run with no contractural obligations or penalties, right?