"You know I love you, WG."
"Yes, but how much?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you love me enough to plant asparagus?"
"WG, of course I love you enough to plant asparagus! That's a silly question."
"But if you plant asparagus now, EJ, it won't be ready for two more years."
"Oh. That's quite a commitment, WG. Two years? That's like a cell phone contract."
"I know. That's why I'm asking. Do you love me that much?"
"Put it in the cart, WG. I will plant asparagus for you."
Today I am off to meet his mother. I met his brother, sister-in-law and sister the other night and have so far passed that test, but today is the mother of all tests (literally). I ironed my skirt last night. I showered and rollered my hair. I put zucchini bread in the oven to take along. I was sitting on my deck this morning, rehearsing all the right answers in my head, practicing my sweet, innocent look when I saw it. I rushed over and did a Hallelujah dance right there in the yard.
I guess if things don't work out today, I can cut my losses and run with no contractural obligations or penalties, right?