Sex Ed: Beyond the Lecture

(Can I just start by saying that I cannot believe I did not blog about this when it happened?)

Before Flash left for the summer (yes, you in the back, I know I haven't blogged in forever...) we decided to have a special night out together. I had been to Monaco Bay (made famous by our own Matt Giraud) a few times with TB and others, but Flash was eager to see what all the fuss was about. I took him on a Friday night at 7 for their special "Dinner Show".

Note: Before I even start let me say this: I know that a bar is no place for a child. And I know first-hand how out of hand these places can get as the evening progresses. On the times I had been there previously, I found it was a great place to be until about midnight and then every bachelorette around seemed to think it was a great place for a drunken party. In any case, I also knew that this "dinner hour" was supposed to be quite tame, a FAMILY event even...so, with caution...I proceeded)

Flash was thrilled to be there. We checked with the bouncer at the door to verify that Flash could indeed come in, he just had to leave by 9. (The bouncer did tell us that if the evening was pretty slow, they often let minors stay a bit longer, it was up to the parent's discretion.) There was another family with two younger children across the restaurant, so all seemed well.

Within a half hour, however, the first bachelorette party arrived, complete with bobbling penises upon their heads. I was mortified to be sitting there, having dinner with my teenage son, but we had just ordered our greatly overpriced dinner, so we decided to stick it out. Bachelorette #1 proceeded to give Flash a great visual lesson in "what happens when a girl drinks too much" out on the dance floor. I tried to use it as a teachable moment.

By 8, two more bachelorette parties had arrived and set up shop. One party brought along their very own 3 foot-tall inflatable penis and put it on the table. Luckily (?!) Flash had his back to this table and missed out on all the antics that accompanied said penis.

The other party was fairly tame, except for the attire of the bride-to-be. Flash again took note of exactly how bizarre people act when they are drunk. Teachable moments abounded.

Around 8:30, one of the piano players took a request for "Leroy Brown". In an effort to encourage crowd participation I suppose, he solicited the family with young children seated in front of the stage. He informed the kids that while parents might tell you not to swear, if you're just singing song lyrics, it's not really swearing! He taught them the words to the chorus and then encouraged them to sing along LOUDLY as the crowd belted it out one last time. "...baddest man in the whole $#%! town..." Ahem. Flash stared at me in disbelief. Yes, son, this is how adults can behave badly even when they are sober.

By 9 the retirement party in front of us started to get a little loud. The otherwise tame over-50 crowd was now doing shots alongside the bachelorettes and the retiree (a school teacher nontheless) was now dancing on the table in front of Flash. Sigh.

We decided to depart.

The piano playing was lackluster at best. Their newest talent is lacking just that. It just isn't the same without Matt at the keys. I'm glad I was there a few times to hear him sing and watch him perform with personality before he moved on to stardom.

I'm sure that nights like these won't help me earn Mother of the Year, but I expect Flash and I will giggle about it for a long time to come!