What I Learned About Valentine's Day From First Graders
I didn't think I would have a sub position for Valentine's Day, but when a funeral pulled a teacher away unexpectedly, I got the call and eagerly agreed to help. Next time I might not be quite so eager. Here's what I learned about Valentine's Day from from 24 First Graders:
1. If you think an activity will take 25 minutes, it will only take 5. Valentine Word Search? Better make them find 100 words, not 10 if you want it to last long enough to exhale
2. To ask them to sit in their seats on a day of such celebration, you are just kidding yourself. Their behinds automatically fling them in the air if it even gets close to the seat of the chair.
3. Even if the teacher only requests snacks from a portion of the children's parents, you will be given 35 white-frosting cupcakes, 30 red-frosting cupcakes, 30 peanut butter cookies with chocolate kisses, 40 brownies, 30 chocolate peanut butter no-bake cookies, 3 different kinds of suckers (not including yourself), tootsie rolls (the big ones), crackers, Cheese-Its, oranges and strawberries and other assorted bags of candy.
4. The parent in charge of plates, napkins and cups needs VERY specific information. Large styrofoam cups will be the death of you one way or another. It would be better to just pour a mouthful in each thirsty child than to place this much liquid in a container on their desk.
5. The parent in charge of drinks, likewise needs VERY specific information. Red juice is NOT a good idea, especially in conjunction with #4.
6. Apparently, any DAD put in charge of bringing a snack also needs VERY specific information. ONE deep dish apple pie will not serve 24 first graders evenly or easily. Especially when no utensils accompany the pie.
7. If you are the mom purchasing pixie sticks as part of your child's Valentine to each classmate, you MIGHT receive an anonymous phone call that sounds like 24 six year olds tearing apart a classroom. I'm just saying.
8. If you are the mom who bought a bracelet for her six year old son to give to another six year old girl in his class, you need your head examined.
9. If you are the parent of the two children who received their third warnings and a subsequent referral for kissing at recess, you need to talk with the mom in #8 and tell her what's in store.
10. When you stop at your sister's after school to drop off Bird and George and to thank her for lending you something red to wear, take three aspirin, not just two.
But no matter how bad the day was, no matter how big the headache is, no matter how many times you had to raise your voice today, remember the fun you had before school slipping cards into the desks of your two favorite elementary students: Bird and George. (Oh, and looking ahead to your next paycheck isn't so bad, either.)
1. If you think an activity will take 25 minutes, it will only take 5. Valentine Word Search? Better make them find 100 words, not 10 if you want it to last long enough to exhale
2. To ask them to sit in their seats on a day of such celebration, you are just kidding yourself. Their behinds automatically fling them in the air if it even gets close to the seat of the chair.
3. Even if the teacher only requests snacks from a portion of the children's parents, you will be given 35 white-frosting cupcakes, 30 red-frosting cupcakes, 30 peanut butter cookies with chocolate kisses, 40 brownies, 30 chocolate peanut butter no-bake cookies, 3 different kinds of suckers (not including yourself), tootsie rolls (the big ones), crackers, Cheese-Its, oranges and strawberries and other assorted bags of candy.
4. The parent in charge of plates, napkins and cups needs VERY specific information. Large styrofoam cups will be the death of you one way or another. It would be better to just pour a mouthful in each thirsty child than to place this much liquid in a container on their desk.
5. The parent in charge of drinks, likewise needs VERY specific information. Red juice is NOT a good idea, especially in conjunction with #4.
6. Apparently, any DAD put in charge of bringing a snack also needs VERY specific information. ONE deep dish apple pie will not serve 24 first graders evenly or easily. Especially when no utensils accompany the pie.
7. If you are the mom purchasing pixie sticks as part of your child's Valentine to each classmate, you MIGHT receive an anonymous phone call that sounds like 24 six year olds tearing apart a classroom. I'm just saying.
8. If you are the mom who bought a bracelet for her six year old son to give to another six year old girl in his class, you need your head examined.
9. If you are the parent of the two children who received their third warnings and a subsequent referral for kissing at recess, you need to talk with the mom in #8 and tell her what's in store.
10. When you stop at your sister's after school to drop off Bird and George and to thank her for lending you something red to wear, take three aspirin, not just two.
But no matter how bad the day was, no matter how big the headache is, no matter how many times you had to raise your voice today, remember the fun you had before school slipping cards into the desks of your two favorite elementary students: Bird and George. (Oh, and looking ahead to your next paycheck isn't so bad, either.)
Comments
And re: #6 -- do first graders even like apple pie...?
Congratulations on surviving Valentine's Day :) My kiddos came home all pepped on a sugar and I was ready for bed by 5PM, so I cannot imagine being in the room with so many kiddos actually serving it to them! Bless you...bless all teachers...