When It Bites You In the Rear
I've explained before my neurosis about books. I don't want to read the back cover or the inside flap - it gives too much of the plot away. I might was well skip to page 223 once I've read the back cover; no need for laying any ground work, it's all been covered by the synopsis on the back.
Sometimes this gets me into trouble.
I recently went to Heaven on Earth (aka Barnes and Noble) with a gift card I received for Christmas. I found one book I had been wanting to read (Memory Keeper's Daughter - up next) but actually had trouble finding a second. It's unheard of, believe me. Clerks, managers and patrons alike all stopped breathlessly waiting for the world to start turning again. No one could believe that Amy could walk into a book store with money in hand and NOT find 10 times that amount in books to purchase. I nearly left the store with money still on the gift card (an absolutely absurd thought in my book - no pun intended) but saw this book on a table in the middle of all the aisles and picked it up. I've heard the title numerous times. I'm certain someone I know has read it and talked about it but now, when I'd like to remember what they said and punch them in the gut if it was good things, I can't recall who said anything at all about it.
"Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris, is not, as I had imagined, about someone who had a learning disability as a child who has since overcome it and gone on to do remarkable, noteworthy, novel-worthy things with their life. Oh no. What it is about I couldn't concisely say. Except to say it's crap.
Now looking at the back cover with quotes like "Wildly entertaining", "If wit were measured in people, David Sedaris would be China: his talent is that huge", "one of the wittiest writers around", "most sidesplitting work to date". I could go on, these imbicile critics certainly do.
I'm quick to realize that we all have different tastes. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me about the books I like. But I cannot for the life of me find ONE SINGLE THING funny about this book. In all 272 pages I did not laugh once. Not once. I cringed no less than 20 times. I nearly choked on my lunch several times while reading this but not because something so funny shot milk up my nose, no, more for a gag -reflex effect.
This book is crude. It's offensive. It's disrespectful. It's crap. I find no better way to express it than that.
I absolutely hated this book.
More significantly, I am horrified at the nation that I live in to realize that we, the people, made this book a #1 National Bestseller. And I, in my ignorance contributed to his wealth and success.
Beyond all the questions swirling in my mind over who read this book and enjoyed it (and please Lord, don't make me be related to or eventually marry them) I have but one compelling question left on my mind - what do I do now with this copy I have? I can't return it. I wouldn't pass this along to anyone willingly. I wouldn't want to donate it to a library and in any way spread this text as some sort of comical view on life. I have never in my life thrown away a book but I just might start with this one. The only better idea I have is to burn it.
Sometimes this gets me into trouble.
I recently went to Heaven on Earth (aka Barnes and Noble) with a gift card I received for Christmas. I found one book I had been wanting to read (Memory Keeper's Daughter - up next) but actually had trouble finding a second. It's unheard of, believe me. Clerks, managers and patrons alike all stopped breathlessly waiting for the world to start turning again. No one could believe that Amy could walk into a book store with money in hand and NOT find 10 times that amount in books to purchase. I nearly left the store with money still on the gift card (an absolutely absurd thought in my book - no pun intended) but saw this book on a table in the middle of all the aisles and picked it up. I've heard the title numerous times. I'm certain someone I know has read it and talked about it but now, when I'd like to remember what they said and punch them in the gut if it was good things, I can't recall who said anything at all about it.
"Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris, is not, as I had imagined, about someone who had a learning disability as a child who has since overcome it and gone on to do remarkable, noteworthy, novel-worthy things with their life. Oh no. What it is about I couldn't concisely say. Except to say it's crap.
Now looking at the back cover with quotes like "Wildly entertaining", "If wit were measured in people, David Sedaris would be China: his talent is that huge", "one of the wittiest writers around", "most sidesplitting work to date". I could go on, these imbicile critics certainly do.
I'm quick to realize that we all have different tastes. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me about the books I like. But I cannot for the life of me find ONE SINGLE THING funny about this book. In all 272 pages I did not laugh once. Not once. I cringed no less than 20 times. I nearly choked on my lunch several times while reading this but not because something so funny shot milk up my nose, no, more for a gag -reflex effect.
This book is crude. It's offensive. It's disrespectful. It's crap. I find no better way to express it than that.
I absolutely hated this book.
More significantly, I am horrified at the nation that I live in to realize that we, the people, made this book a #1 National Bestseller. And I, in my ignorance contributed to his wealth and success.
Beyond all the questions swirling in my mind over who read this book and enjoyed it (and please Lord, don't make me be related to or eventually marry them) I have but one compelling question left on my mind - what do I do now with this copy I have? I can't return it. I wouldn't pass this along to anyone willingly. I wouldn't want to donate it to a library and in any way spread this text as some sort of comical view on life. I have never in my life thrown away a book but I just might start with this one. The only better idea I have is to burn it.
Comments
And may I suggest reading the little synopsis occasionally?
Do not throw it away!
I lent my friend my copy and last I saw she had ruined it and then she told me it was lost.
I loved that book. As sick and deranged as it was - I laugh just thinking about it. *ducks head*
*pleads*I will SO take it off your hands...
And I'm the opposite. I want to know what the story is. I often watch the movie first to see if I want to read the book. I read the end to see if I should finish the book.
I hope you mail the book to Jenny.
xo,
SL
By the way, while on the topic, I picked up The Wedding by Sparks. It's supposedly a continuation of The Notebook, so I'm hoping for a good story! I'm on chapter 3, and so far, it's lagging. Did you tell me that you read it?
I know you don't want to promote the book by passing it on, but think of it this way: if you sell it to someone else who wants to buy it, you're preventing him from getting that person's money as well as yours. It will be almost like you didn't buy the book at all! (Although you can't unread it, sorry.)
But it turned out that it was the funniest story in the book so far.
So I was disappointed as well, but in a mild sort of "oh well" way.
And while I did borrow Jenn's copy, I am not the one who ruined it.
Swear.