Thank Goodness My "Husband" Was There To Help

Pre-arranged plans:

LM and I have eye appointments at 6 and 6:30, since they could take an hour or so (with exam and picking out new frames) I suggest to J that I just keep LM at my house for the night instead of J taking him as he usual does on Tuesdays. J agrees.

2 days before the appointment, I call to verify with J that we're all set for Tuesday just being a "Mom Day". J changes the plans.

New plans:

6:00pm, LM's eye appointment
6:30 - LM will pick out new frames (if necessary) while I have my eye appointment. (The woman at the eye place is really awesome at picking out frames - well, except for the ones she talked me into last time - and she can at least narrow them down and then I can just have the final say when my appointment is over.)
7:00 - J will pick up LM from the eye doc so they can have their usual evening together. I will pick out my new frames after my appointment.

Reality as it unfolded:

6:00pm, J arrives 5 minutes after we do for LM's appointment. eye doc is running behind schedule, so J and I sit and chit chat in the waiting room while LM reads a book ("Eragon" for the 7th time).
6:30, LM has his eye appointment. J and I continue our chit chat in the waiting room. Topics discussed: our current laptop issues, a letter from the alumni chair at our alma mater, LM's cold and the medicine I packed for his night at J's, and J's partner's 15 year old daughter's new boyfriend (and prom date) and how that's impacting J's partner.
7:00, my turn for an exam, LM's time to pick out new frames. I ask if it's okay that he interrupt my exam when he has his options narrowed down so that I can give final approval. Doc suggests "Dad" help with LM's choices. I try to cover my laugh, but tell J he can go help, but please still let me see the final options before a decision is reached.

J says to the optometrist, "I guess good fashion sense is a gene I should have inherited but somehow I didn't." Which would be a sort of funny joke if the optometrist knew that J was GAY and that he's not actually my husband as everyone is currently thinking in the office.

J and LM leave the exam room to go pick out frames.

5 minutes later, LM is in the room modeling a pair of frames. "Um, I don't love them," I say. "I do!" replies LM and off he goes. "We're ordering them in brown!" comes a shout from the frame-woman in the next room. Well, so much for Mom getting any say-so.

LM and J leave and I think I'm finally on my own to wrap things up. Following my exam, I meet with the woman in the frame room and she helps pick out a number of frames for me to try. She remarks what a "lively" child LM is. "He's an only, isn't he?" she asks. I confirm her thought and remark that apparently he has finally realized he has a choice in what he wears and decided to exert himself for the first time this evening. Frame woman says, "Your husband doesn't stand a chance with your son, does he?" Realizing that in about 3 minutes of interaction time, this woman has realized the truth, that J has never had much parental control (or desire for it) over LM and that in tandem, LM often comes off as the adult. I don't correct her thought that J is my husband, recognizing the innocence of the remark.

As I swap frames back and forth I am surprised to suddenly see LM standing in the doorway. They had gone to dinner and were now back in case I wanted more say-so in LM's frames, although LM has no intention of looking at any other ones. I let it go. It's his choice, it's his face. I ask LM what he thinks of the frames I have on my face. J says, "You don't want to know what I think of them." Well, no, truly, it isn't an opinion that matters to me, but I would look rude to say so, so I say instead, "No, go ahead, tell me." Regretting the words the moment they fall out of my unchaperoned mouth.

"You look just like my mother's yearbook photo with those frames."

"Yeah, I think I'll take these other ones," I say to frame woman.

I've been divorced six years now and I'm still having to deal with my ex husband and his MOTHER?! Say it isn't so.

Comments

jenny said…
somehow, I'm thinking you'll always be dealing with them. Maybe not as often but at least you won't look like her now. :)
~**Dawn**~ said…
re: your closing statement? man. you poor thing. one should never be required to keep a mother in law when you are no longer in-lawed.
Newlywife said…
That's hysterical! I am sure you look wonderful...and kudos for letting LM pick his own glasses! Good mom move as usual!
Mig said…
Wait, he answered for LM?

No matter, who wants to look like a yearbook picture anyway. MIL or not.

Did you go with a daring color ... like red or blue?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Lisa said…
I hate it when people say, "You don't really want to know what I'm thinking right now." No good can come of that. I'm sure you look fabulous
Jennifer said…
Super hilarious...but sad...as I try to stifle my laughter :) My MIL will always have some sort of hold over me...even when I'm dead, I'm sure!

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