Do The Dew

I am not a caffeine drinker. I used to be. I used to drink Mt. Dew while watching Johnny Carson (yes, I’m that old) and fall asleep immediately after. Then I graduated from college and entered the real world where caffeine actually has an effect on my body and I can no longer sleep after consumption. I occasionally forget while dining out that the soda at a restaurant contains caffeine and it will be 4am when I am still awake in bed before I remember the reason for my insomnia.

Last weekend, however, I drove 11 hours to TN to visit my family. This drive required my entire cd collection, the laptop for LM’s amusement and copious amounts of Diet Mt. Dew to keep me from taking a little siesta during the drive. My visit was a short one, so I saw no need to force my family to suffer through my withdrawal, so I continued to consume Mt. Dew as if it were not available in Pennsylvania during my stay. On my return trip home, having barely slept the night before and driving without any companions to help keep me alert, I relied upon three 20-ounce bottles of Diet Dew to carry me through the trip.

I had one caffeinated Diet Coke upon my return to work on Wednesday morning and then cut myself off cold turkey to deal with the withdrawal and just get it over with. By Friday mid-day I had a raging headache that would not succumb to the medicinal effects of Advil. By Saturday I lay listlessly on my couch begging the throbbing to please stop now promising a life of atonement. By Sunday pup and I were out to the Bark Park and I was back to feverishly cleaning the condo (four trash bags left my home last evening. Four. Translation: LM’s closet has been cleaned.)

I am now on the other side of addiction and have only this to report: How in the world do smokers/drug addicts/alcoholics/etc. cope?!