Requiem for a Pooch

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, whatever were you thinking?
Your odds of survival are so greatly sinking.
It wasn’t enough to eat the couch pillows
You had to take it up a notch and sink to new lows.

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, what is going on?
We love you and adore you from dusk till dawn.
We talk you for walks and out to the park
We don’t even yell each time that you bark.

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, today of all days
You made a choice, now the price you must pay
For sneaking in LM’s room is forbidden and wrong
And now we are here, singing this funeral song.

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, you might be as big as a horse
But you know it was his favorite, of all things – STAR WARS?!
The book was too precious for you to just chew
Now there’s little else left for me to do

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, I hate to announce this news
But when Jacob comes home you’re going to lose
You life is on the line, it was his favorite book
I don’t expect for this one, he’ll let you off the hook.

O Gabriel, O Gabriel, you’d better run and hide.
If he doesn’t kill you this time, you might wish that you had died.
He’ll make your life miserable, you know this is true.
He’ll take away your bones – all the things you love to chew.

He’ll tell you, you were wrong and a bad bad dog.
He’ll kick you to the curb, he’ll hit you with a log.
But mostly he’ll be sad over losing his precious book
He might even cry, or just give you “that look”.

Anyway, I think it’s hopeless, there’s little we can do
Although I have one idea, quick, grab my shoes!
We have to get going, we have to get mobile.
I think the answer to your salvation might lie at Barnes and Noble.