All Because
As I open the laptop to write today, a beautiful red cardinal sits perched on the hemlock out front. Hello, Mom.
While I am always grateful for these little feathered reminders of you, I wish you were here today in person to tell me what turned your eye from the practical jokester Jerry to his best friend, Roger. I wish you were here to tell me about the dance you two went to in the snowstorm where you were crowned queen. I wish you were here to tell me about his proposal on New Year's Eve, one you must have seen coming and yet one that surely made your heart leap just the same.
I wish you were here to tell me what it was like to start your life together so far from your homes, where you didn't know a soul, in the middle of a war, making plans for a life with so much uncertain around you. I wish you were here to tell me what went through your mind, when despite being a teacher, your husband still got drafted and the least of your worries was whether he'd get his job back, or moving everything to North Carolina and then to Louisiana. I wish you could tell me what it was like for you, living with your parents with a baby, waiting out basic training knowing the next step was Viet Nam. I wish you could tell me the relief you felt when he was chosen instead, for an office position stateside, and eventually when he was able to leave the Army behind ahead of schedule and resume your life with two young children.
I wish you were here, Mom, to talk about what was hard in marriage and what made you laugh out loud. What memories would you have from the early years that would still be with you now, as treasured as gold? What hard times have turned themselves into blessed experiences that forever strengthened your bond with each other?
I wish you were here, Mom, to know the babies you held, the children you read to, the teenagers you counseled have turned into parents themselves. I wish you could know your amazing grandchildren! I wish you could see Jacob's curls - straight from you! I wish you could hear Emily giggle or see Robby's dimples, or the golden hair on Adalene or the mischievous grin on Little Garrett - they are all like you in so many ways. Every one of your grandchildren has a heart of gold, an amazing sense of humor and a caring spirit for others that all come from a grandmother they never met.
I wish I could take you to my classroom. I wish you could be there for Fairy Tale Friday, or the day we hatch chickens. I wish you were here to remind me some days of all the reasons you always believed I'd be a writer, to help me overcome the fear. I wish you were here to remind me sometimes that God is good (all the time) or that prayer matters, or even that this is just the beginning. I wish you were here to tell me what to do when my child breaks my heart, or when I miss him more than I can stand. I wish you were here so I could apologize for ever breaking yours, or for not knowing how to handle my emerging adult life with the ending of your yours.
I wish you were here to meet James. Oh how you would love this man. Not just because he loves Dallas, or old county music, or even because for his big soft heart. You'd love him for how he loves your daughter; for how he makes me laugh and how he comforts me when I cries. You'd love him for his shameless sense of humor, his deep-rooted love for farming and the way he indulges your daughter with my crazy plans.
While I might wish every day that you were here, I will forever be grateful for all the days you were. I will forever give thanks that you spent my whole life being the best mom I could ever wish for or dream of. I might wish for more conversations, more time to know you, more years together, but I am so very grateful for all that you and Dad gave to us kids, even when it seemed like you had very little at all. We were and are a family that loves each other deeply, has faith in all that is good and we are a family who still laughs far more often than we cry. We are a family who still believes in the power of family, who still believe that God is good (all the time) and who truly understand how precious and short life really is.
We are a family. All because two people fell in love (thankfully) too young to know how hard the road would get. We are a family, a very blessed, very successful, very loving family all because fifty years ago today, those two people who fell in such amazing love together got married.
I wish you were here today, Mom. I wish we were having a huge family dinner, I wish we were raising a glass and I was wiping away these tears as I led a toast. I'm sure I would have agonized over finding the perfect gift for the occasion, even though I know that having your whole family around would have been the only gift you ever wanted.
Happy Fiftieth Anniversary, Mom (and Dad). I love you both so very much and I will forever work to make my marriage, my life, my legacy as amazing as the ones you forged together. All because you people fell in love.
While I am always grateful for these little feathered reminders of you, I wish you were here today in person to tell me what turned your eye from the practical jokester Jerry to his best friend, Roger. I wish you were here to tell me about the dance you two went to in the snowstorm where you were crowned queen. I wish you were here to tell me about his proposal on New Year's Eve, one you must have seen coming and yet one that surely made your heart leap just the same.
I wish you were here to tell me what it was like to start your life together so far from your homes, where you didn't know a soul, in the middle of a war, making plans for a life with so much uncertain around you. I wish you were here to tell me what went through your mind, when despite being a teacher, your husband still got drafted and the least of your worries was whether he'd get his job back, or moving everything to North Carolina and then to Louisiana. I wish you could tell me what it was like for you, living with your parents with a baby, waiting out basic training knowing the next step was Viet Nam. I wish you could tell me the relief you felt when he was chosen instead, for an office position stateside, and eventually when he was able to leave the Army behind ahead of schedule and resume your life with two young children.
I wish you were here, Mom, to talk about what was hard in marriage and what made you laugh out loud. What memories would you have from the early years that would still be with you now, as treasured as gold? What hard times have turned themselves into blessed experiences that forever strengthened your bond with each other?
I wish you were here, Mom, to know the babies you held, the children you read to, the teenagers you counseled have turned into parents themselves. I wish you could know your amazing grandchildren! I wish you could see Jacob's curls - straight from you! I wish you could hear Emily giggle or see Robby's dimples, or the golden hair on Adalene or the mischievous grin on Little Garrett - they are all like you in so many ways. Every one of your grandchildren has a heart of gold, an amazing sense of humor and a caring spirit for others that all come from a grandmother they never met.
I wish I could take you to my classroom. I wish you could be there for Fairy Tale Friday, or the day we hatch chickens. I wish you were here to remind me some days of all the reasons you always believed I'd be a writer, to help me overcome the fear. I wish you were here to remind me sometimes that God is good (all the time) or that prayer matters, or even that this is just the beginning. I wish you were here to tell me what to do when my child breaks my heart, or when I miss him more than I can stand. I wish you were here so I could apologize for ever breaking yours, or for not knowing how to handle my emerging adult life with the ending of your yours.
I wish you were here to meet James. Oh how you would love this man. Not just because he loves Dallas, or old county music, or even because for his big soft heart. You'd love him for how he loves your daughter; for how he makes me laugh and how he comforts me when I cries. You'd love him for his shameless sense of humor, his deep-rooted love for farming and the way he indulges your daughter with my crazy plans.
While I might wish every day that you were here, I will forever be grateful for all the days you were. I will forever give thanks that you spent my whole life being the best mom I could ever wish for or dream of. I might wish for more conversations, more time to know you, more years together, but I am so very grateful for all that you and Dad gave to us kids, even when it seemed like you had very little at all. We were and are a family that loves each other deeply, has faith in all that is good and we are a family who still laughs far more often than we cry. We are a family who still believes in the power of family, who still believe that God is good (all the time) and who truly understand how precious and short life really is.
We are a family. All because two people fell in love (thankfully) too young to know how hard the road would get. We are a family, a very blessed, very successful, very loving family all because fifty years ago today, those two people who fell in such amazing love together got married.
I wish you were here today, Mom. I wish we were having a huge family dinner, I wish we were raising a glass and I was wiping away these tears as I led a toast. I'm sure I would have agonized over finding the perfect gift for the occasion, even though I know that having your whole family around would have been the only gift you ever wanted.
Happy Fiftieth Anniversary, Mom (and Dad). I love you both so very much and I will forever work to make my marriage, my life, my legacy as amazing as the ones you forged together. All because you people fell in love.
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