Back In The Saddle

I was busy cleaning out the last of four closets when LM said he thought it was time I started dating again. I stopped and stared at him. "It hasn't been much more than a week, LM. Seriously."

"I know, Mom, but I think I found the perfect guy for you.

"He doesn't snore, he doesn't stay out late with all his friends, he's polite, he never argues..."

"LM, what on earth are you talking about?"

"I found the perfect guy for you, Mom. All you have to do is add water."

And that's when I realized. He had found the boyfriend Mig had sent to me last year. (Cause that's what friends are for, to send you a boyfriend in case you ever need one.) He must have fallen out of one of the boxes I had just emptied.

I'll admit. There are some qualities about him that I do like. He doesn't talk about himself and all his accomplishments. He doesn't belch after dinner. He doesn't insist on listening to RunDMC while driving. But I think he's been spending a bit too much time at the tanner, and he needs to learn not to slurp the foam off his beer and there's this whole growing-shrinking-growing thing he's supposed to do, that, well frankly I'm not even sure Cialis could help. But even if I could get past that, when push comes to shove, he obviously just came out of the closet. And we all know I've been down that road before.