The Rest of the Story
Okay, okay, I’ll tell about Pottery class, but I’m sure by now you’re imagination has formulated a much better story than the truth.
LM didn’t have to go to pottery. He WANTED to go to pottery. Keep that in mind.
LM learned at school that the daughter of my classmate was going to be there, too, so LM was really excited to have another kid at class.
We reviewed the rules. I reminded him that just acting silly could cause a pot to fall off a shelf and break and there.is.no.replacing.someone’s.unique.artwork. I told him that this was his fair warning that I wouldn’t give warnings at class. I reminded him that my classmate and I needed to actually do some work, and that he was more than welcome to create something with clay but it would NOT be fired in the kiln (we were running out of room, and I was terrified that his ‘thing’ would explode and take other valuable pieces with it.)
When we arrived at class, the daughter of my classmate was sitting quietly off to the side sketching. LM walked in, saw her, didn’t say hi, just started criticizing her artwork. “What is that supposed to be? Sponge Bob? His pants should be more square if that’s what it is. What is this over there? That’s not a tree. Why don’t you draw a picture of a spacecraft…” About 5 criticisms later, I turned around and said, “Jacob!” He looked at me like, “what?” My classmate introduced himself at that point and kind of looked at me like, “nice kid ya got there.”
I needed to trim the pots from last week, so I tried to get that done quickly. Then I got LM some clay to play with, thinking he would stay out of the way and keep quiet. But no. He kept walking around my classmate’s wheel, which was making the classmate VERY nervous. My classmate has made some very nice pieces. He has done pottery before and just used the class to get time on the wheel, really. He primarily makes big bowls, and LM wasn’t earning any points by pacing back and forth next to that wheel. One false move and the whole bowl could be ruined.
I finally got him settled doing his own thing. For the life of me, though, I could NOT get a pot to form with the clay (I wonder why). I had LM take some pictures, thinking that would keep him occupied. But trying to take pictures, LM kept getting in the way of my classmate and making my classmate very.very.nervous.
I decided I would just abandon the idea of making a pot on my own, and LM and I would just make one together as that would be really cool and would keep him still. We had talked about this as one of the cool things we could do together at class. He came and sat with me at the wheel and I shaped my hands around his to mold and center the clay. One touch of the clay and he was done. “Eww!! I don’t like this on my hands!! Are we done yet?! Can I go wash my hands yet?” We took some pictures to mark the occasion of the “Night that LM Did Not Want to Make a Pot With His Mother” and then I let him go wash his hands.
We had been at class only about 40 minutes by this point and LM has insulted both the daughter AND my classmate (“That bowl would look better if you….” “Why don’t you smash that down and make it into a…” “That would be cool if you put two necks on it and…”) My classmate was SO impressed with my child that he started telling about how he teases his daughter that when boys start coming around, there are some boys he will let in, and some that he will toss over the hedge. LM was quickly labeled a “hedge boy”.
Class normally lasts 2 hours. This week we were without the instructor so I was dependent upon my classmate who has a key to the place to lock up when we left. After 45 minutes of being there, he announces that he’s done and cleans up ready to go home. In less than 2 minutes they are cleaned up, packed up and ready to leave. I, on the other hand, was in the middle of desperately trying to make ONE.LAST.POT. and now I have to quit and go home? Finally, out of exasperation, my classmate says he’ll show me how to lock up when I go and he’ll just leave.
The moment they left I thought I would lose my mind. In less than 45 minutes, my child had offended an adult and a child so much so that they LEFT class altogether. I was so embarrassed. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on making anymore pots, even though it was my LAST.NIGHT.TO.MAKE.POTS. We cleaned up, packed up and went home.
The worst of it to me, is that, because I’m a single mom, I can go home and quietly and calmly explain what went wrong and what I expected of him next time, etc. But unless I prompt for it myself, I get no apology. I miss the days when his dad could take him aside and say, “You owe your mother an apology!” (We’ll just pretend for a moment that his dad ever did that sort of thing.) I just wanted a heartfelt “I’m sorry” for ruining my last night of class, but I didn’t get one.
LM asked at the end of the night if he could go with me again next week. ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?!
(See? Weren’t you thinking he broke everything I made or something?!)
There is the pottery story.
I will not take my child to pottery class again.
LM didn’t have to go to pottery. He WANTED to go to pottery. Keep that in mind.
LM learned at school that the daughter of my classmate was going to be there, too, so LM was really excited to have another kid at class.
We reviewed the rules. I reminded him that just acting silly could cause a pot to fall off a shelf and break and there.is.no.replacing.someone’s.unique.artwork. I told him that this was his fair warning that I wouldn’t give warnings at class. I reminded him that my classmate and I needed to actually do some work, and that he was more than welcome to create something with clay but it would NOT be fired in the kiln (we were running out of room, and I was terrified that his ‘thing’ would explode and take other valuable pieces with it.)
When we arrived at class, the daughter of my classmate was sitting quietly off to the side sketching. LM walked in, saw her, didn’t say hi, just started criticizing her artwork. “What is that supposed to be? Sponge Bob? His pants should be more square if that’s what it is. What is this over there? That’s not a tree. Why don’t you draw a picture of a spacecraft…” About 5 criticisms later, I turned around and said, “Jacob!” He looked at me like, “what?” My classmate introduced himself at that point and kind of looked at me like, “nice kid ya got there.”
I needed to trim the pots from last week, so I tried to get that done quickly. Then I got LM some clay to play with, thinking he would stay out of the way and keep quiet. But no. He kept walking around my classmate’s wheel, which was making the classmate VERY nervous. My classmate has made some very nice pieces. He has done pottery before and just used the class to get time on the wheel, really. He primarily makes big bowls, and LM wasn’t earning any points by pacing back and forth next to that wheel. One false move and the whole bowl could be ruined.
I finally got him settled doing his own thing. For the life of me, though, I could NOT get a pot to form with the clay (I wonder why). I had LM take some pictures, thinking that would keep him occupied. But trying to take pictures, LM kept getting in the way of my classmate and making my classmate very.very.nervous.
I decided I would just abandon the idea of making a pot on my own, and LM and I would just make one together as that would be really cool and would keep him still. We had talked about this as one of the cool things we could do together at class. He came and sat with me at the wheel and I shaped my hands around his to mold and center the clay. One touch of the clay and he was done. “Eww!! I don’t like this on my hands!! Are we done yet?! Can I go wash my hands yet?” We took some pictures to mark the occasion of the “Night that LM Did Not Want to Make a Pot With His Mother” and then I let him go wash his hands.
We had been at class only about 40 minutes by this point and LM has insulted both the daughter AND my classmate (“That bowl would look better if you….” “Why don’t you smash that down and make it into a…” “That would be cool if you put two necks on it and…”) My classmate was SO impressed with my child that he started telling about how he teases his daughter that when boys start coming around, there are some boys he will let in, and some that he will toss over the hedge. LM was quickly labeled a “hedge boy”.
Class normally lasts 2 hours. This week we were without the instructor so I was dependent upon my classmate who has a key to the place to lock up when we left. After 45 minutes of being there, he announces that he’s done and cleans up ready to go home. In less than 2 minutes they are cleaned up, packed up and ready to leave. I, on the other hand, was in the middle of desperately trying to make ONE.LAST.POT. and now I have to quit and go home? Finally, out of exasperation, my classmate says he’ll show me how to lock up when I go and he’ll just leave.
The moment they left I thought I would lose my mind. In less than 45 minutes, my child had offended an adult and a child so much so that they LEFT class altogether. I was so embarrassed. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on making anymore pots, even though it was my LAST.NIGHT.TO.MAKE.POTS. We cleaned up, packed up and went home.
The worst of it to me, is that, because I’m a single mom, I can go home and quietly and calmly explain what went wrong and what I expected of him next time, etc. But unless I prompt for it myself, I get no apology. I miss the days when his dad could take him aside and say, “You owe your mother an apology!” (We’ll just pretend for a moment that his dad ever did that sort of thing.) I just wanted a heartfelt “I’m sorry” for ruining my last night of class, but I didn’t get one.
LM asked at the end of the night if he could go with me again next week. ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?!
(See? Weren’t you thinking he broke everything I made or something?!)
There is the pottery story.
I will not take my child to pottery class again.
Comments
It was worth the wait. Very funny story...LM is such a great kid most of the time I was beginning to wonder if he were human!
Kids are kids, and they do that sort of thing right? I know it must have been embarrassing, but "hedge boy" that is funny stuff!
I;m sorry you didn't get to make more pots, but I'm sure LM will make up for it with a heartmelting comment somewhere down the line...
You are so right. There are times when I want to pinch myself because LM is such a great kid so perhaps I need these moments to remind me to appreciate all the times he's such a joy!